The Thai Princess

As most of you know, Clare has been holidaying in Thailand now for nearly 4 weeks. Yes, this is like her 5th trip into South East Asia, and no, I don't know if she's financing these trips by being a drug mule.

Anyway, here's a few photos of her adventure:

Clare standing under a striking coconut tree.

Apparently coconuts kill 15 times more people than sharks.

Clare swimming in some pristine Thai waters.

Where's your bikini Clare??

Clare getting her toenails done. Pink, surprisingly.

Kate, one of Clare's best friends and travel buddies standing in front of their bungalow.

Clare trying to replicate ET. See here for a comparison.

Two curries for under $4. Get me over there!

Clare shopping in Bankok.

Clare canoeing through some caves.

Was the F-Word appropriate?

On Tuesday night, Jules Heaton, Millgate, Karla and myself went to some random restaurant in Woolloomooloo for the filiming of a new Channel 7 reality TV show. Further to my post about setting goals, this was my first exercise to get on every commercial TV station in Australia by year's end. At the very least, I'll be in the background of a conversation between Evan and Bella from My Restaurant Rules' Pink Salt.

The producers were even so kind to move our table so that the camera men could have better access to the 'star' couple. Either way, we had an unobscured view of the kitchen (as you can see above).

Aside from Jules, Millgate and Karla, other stars in attendance included Anthony Callea and Wil Traval (Dr Quade from All Saints). Elton John was busy.

The show is modelled on Gordon Ramsey's UK version, The F-Word, where three amateur chefs cook for a restaurant of 50 people. In our episode there were three butchers.

Chef Matt Moran (not the Slavic soul-party vibraphonist-composer) needed seven takes just to high five his team of three amateur chefs for a job well done. Regular TV, shit talent, or just a 1st class wanker? I'll take votes.

The menu...

Entree - Salt & Chilli Squid w Bok Choy

Mum, you would have loved this one.

In my opinion, the squid was beautifully cooked, perhaps a little overwhelmed by its sweet ginger and chilli sauce - a personal taste, but I would have liked a little more chilli to balance out the strong sweet ginger flavours. The baby bok choy was of a high quality and had the right snap/soft textural balance. After this one, I was thinking that this dynamic could really work for TV and we were in for a night of great taste.

Main - Pork w Kifler Potatoes, Honey Baby Pears, Broccolini & Caper Butter

Unispiring, yes. The pork cut was just divine though.

As I mentioned to my table, when the caper butter resting over your broccolini hasn't even begun to melt, you know there must be something wrong with the vegetable kitchen-plate-table process...a little too cold, considering we were 2.5 metres from the kitchen. Perhaps a group of Iraqi insurgents disrupted the convoy? I don't know.

The pork cut though - sweet mother - amazing. Loved it! There was some consternation at the level of cooking it had had, however in my mind, its medium-medium rare tenderness and texture proved an absolute hit with my tastebuds. The 'crackling' was about 25 minutes undercooked - quite chewy really. But that's not really Moran's fault. He only showed up 5 minutes before filming started.

I was one of only 20 out of the 50 patrons who agreed to pay for the pork. Yeah, sure the vegetables were sub-standard, but a cut of meat like that, which Matt Moran later told us was Kurobuta Pork, was truly a unique experience.

Another diner/blogger suggests that the reason it may not have scored very highly was because not many people dig pork. Seems like Australian Pork Limited still have a bit of work to do...

Desert - White Chocolate Pannacotta w Citrus Salad

This dish was a little like a trip to the Western NSW wheatbelt. Simple, refreshing and a little grainy.

It was simple because I felt, again, the dish was relatively uninspiring. I just wasn't excited when they plonked it down in front of me. In saying that, it would be a great dish if you had kids with you - the jelly wobble of the pannacotta and the simple fruit flavours would have been a hoot for any 5 year-old.

Refreshing for a few reasons. Firstly because I have never experienced a rose water/citrus combination like this. And what about the oregano garnish - now that's novel. Lastly, I couldn't agree more with Millgate's comment that the pannacotta proved to be a wonderful complement to some rich flavours experienced in the entree and main courses.

And grainy - the pannacotta, whilst its flavour proved a treat, its consistency and texture was somewhat disappointing.

Verdict

All in all, it was a great experience. I loved the company, with 3/4 of my table trying to make eyes with buff camera men, tanned waiters and Tony Callea. Sitting down for 5 hours nearly gave me DVT - I think we could have done with about another four bottles of wine.

Would I go again? Probably not. The thrill really was in seeing the magic of TV and having the excitement of a sound man's boom hovering over your face whilst you discuss the different elements of the food. I think I'd rather take Clare out for a pasta, icecream and romantic stroll down woolloomoo wharf for $40.

Shiny, happy people laughing...

Pimp'n it up

I get a call from my mate Jonnie at about 5:30pm on Saturday afternoon that went a little like this:

J: Herro

S: Well herro! Hans Brix, how very rice to shree you...

J: Wow, you're so funny - and good looking. Lil and I are headed up to Palm Beach to stay for the night at some guy's place, want to come?

S: OK.

And so it was, we ventured up to Sydney's beach of the stars (well, Home & Away at least).


Steve Baxter has his own business, Sydney Audio Visual, installing everything from the most pimp'n plasma TV's through to the kind of sound systems you'd experience in Snoop Dogg's own kitchen, but at an affordable price.

Anyway, he had to do some work for one of his clients, who mentioned that whilst there he should take advantage of the place for the weekend and invite some friends over.

Jonnie invited me on Baxter's behalf - I thought it'd be rude not to. So we got up there, had a couple of beers, met some ripper people from Inverell and headed off for a relatively early night (after a cheeky night-ocean swim).

What a place - the living room was literally as big as my apartment. It kind of makes you feel like a bit of a pleb, but at the same time you think the guy who owned the place has either been really smart with his cash or worked his ass off. Either way, good luck to the bloke.

Then again, he could be a professional hit man or drug dealer. However, I digress...

The view from the balcony

Got up the next morning and we paid $45 for a dozen eggs, some bacon, a loaf of bread, 3 tomatos and a paper (bloody Palm Beach locals). Then we went for a bit of a surf down at Whale Beach (I have never seen such a glorious array of silicone in my life). Really really enjoyed my time in the surf - it makes you want to move closer to the beach really...caught some 'gnarley' waves 'dude'...nothing huge, but it was great to see Jonnie do some 'real' surfing. He's absolutely killing it, considering the short time he's been actively surfing. Just hope he remembers me when he's on the Billabong Pro Tour.


This is a picture of Jonnie and I. We're so hot.

What a bloody random, fabulous weekend.

Carn 'straya

I recognise this may be about 12 days old, however I was going through my camera and thought that I couldn't miss a blog about Australia Day. Check out the rock-star glasses Dave's wearing.

Willis, Edwina and I decended on Mr & Mrs D. Halter's residence in Wombat Heights. I was a little tired after seeing a sterling win by the Waratahs and celebrating with some appropriate post-match entertainment - who knew that $2 could bring so much joy!

Similar to many accounts of people here in Sydney, Australia Day was an absolute corker. Dave MANned the BBQ, Willis sourced some delicious lamb snags and I made a salad.

This is a picture of Willis doing some crazy two-handed tennis shit. Edwina looks on lovingly. She has a thing for ambidextrous men.

Thanks to Dave and Kate for a lovely afternoon.

It's all about setting goals

Don't worry, not another rant about being organised...

One of my 2007 goals is to appear on every Australian commercial television station by year end. Sure, sounds easy, but how the bloody hell can I make it onto SBS. I'm not ethnic.

Maybe I should start a fight at the soccer somewhere or something. Anyone got any spare flares??

Plans

On Tuesday of this week, Karla, Tim M and [insert person here - Edwina can't make it anymore] will be joining me at some random restaurant in Wooloomooloo as part of one of Channel Seven's new reality TV shows. It's a rip-off of some UK show which featured Gordon Ramsey.

Basically, three amateur chefs are grouped by profession - from hairdressers and surf lifesavers to surgeons and sports stars - to be guided by Aria's Matt Moran as they prepare a three-course meal for 50 hungry customers. And no, I'm not cooking. I'm eating...now, just to get myself on TV. Maybe some obscene comments perhaps?

Other plans include a trip to the ABC studios in about a week to take part in the filming of the first episode of a new show, Difference of Opinion hosted by Geoff McMullen; and a trip (if Clare can make herself available!) to the Channel Ten studios to be a contestant on Ready Steady Cook.

Look out free TV...

There is nothing fashionable about being late

Message to the world:

Be on time. The occasional public-transit snafu is forgivable, but consistent lateness is rude, annoying, and self-centered. If we didn't care when you showed up, we'd have said "any old time"; if we said seven, get there at seven or within fifteen minutes. Do not ditz that you "lost track of time" as though time somehow slipped its leash and ran into traffic. It shows a basic lack of respect for others; flakiness is not cute anymore, primarily because it never was. Buy a watch, wind it up, and wear it everywhere you go.
- Tomato Nation

Strong, but fair words to those with problems managing their time.

Let's get organised people!

The anointed one

The Captain Cook - was it ever the same? Well, I wouldn't know. Willis and I missed our bus stop, mainly due to my idiocy. On the plus side, we got to the Sydney Football Stadium nice and early, trialled some of their finest new asian takeaway cuisine, had a couple of schooners, met Dave and his brother Andy, and settled in for the footy.

For those who have been living in a (perhaps self-imposed) rugby vacuum, the NSW Waratahs were playing the NZ's Canterbury Crusaders last Friday in a final trial before the main Super 14 competition starts.



The much-awaited home debut of one Kurtley Beale created much excitement amongst the rugby supporters and scribes from across the country. He's an 18 year-old rugby 'prodigy' fresh out of St Joseph's College and has the hopes of NSW rugby supporters, and interestingly, the aboriginal community on his shoulders. Not since Cathy Freeman has a young aboriginal athlete created so much excitement from the sporting masses. I say good luck to him - let's just hope he can keep his head firmly planted on the ground.



He has certainly got some things to work on in defence, his kicking game and in some of his decision-making, but his frenetic unpredictability with the ball in hand may provide the Waratahs with that spark that will hand them a Super 14 title in 2007/08. If only we can find a decent scrummaging tight-head prop...

With all of this chat about Kurtley in the paper, the boys and I decided to pre-empt some sporting headlines:

• When he wins a celebrity game show: "Beale or no Beale"
• When he proves himself to be a quality player: "The real Beale" (This one was actually used the day after WE thought of it...)
• When he kicks the winning field goal in the World Cup final: "Bealey, Bealey good"
• When he is out injured for the season and the team doesn't do so well: "NSW discover their achilles Beale"
• When he goes to the children's hospital to say hi to sick cancer kids: "NSW show their touchy-Bealey side"
• When he starts seeing National Nine News weather girl Jaynie Seal: "Beale bones Seal"
• When he injures an opposing player in a tackle: "Beale makes Crusader's prop squeal"
• When he takes a continuous battering from Ritchie McCaw, but puts in a match-winning performance: "Beale - Man of Steel"
• Well into his career, amid criticisms about his style of play, one scribe goes into bat for him: "No need to reinvent the Beale"
• After a massive night out: "Beery Beale steals cab car wheel"
• When he swaps codes, to play Rugby League with Parramatta: "Waratahs Beale to become Eel"
• When the NSW Waratahs bring out a team cookbook: "Kurtley Beale - Breast of veal with candied citrus peal"
• Named Cleo bachelor of the year: "Beale got sex appeal"
• After he breaks his leg in a freak green-grocery accident: "Beale slips on banana peal"

And I think you get the point.

Has the Captain Cook Hotel ever been the same?

There is the possibility of me going back to the Captain Cook Hotel in Paddington this Thursday night before I go to watch a Waratahs trial. For those who didn't have the pleasure back in '04, it was the scene of an unlikely post-party party.


It was 766 days ago - the day of my 21st birthday celebrations. Mum and Dad had put on a ripper of a party during the day at our old place adjacent to Randwick Racecourse. From memory, the following events happened:

• Paff decided to use skills learned as one of the Ox's barmaids (and one of the hottest) to pour herself a couple of jugs of beer, then proceeded to notify the barman of his professional shortcomings.
• There were holes in the walls of the men's, after someone played demolition expert.
• Lane tried to get to know several of my female invitees.
• There was nakedness at the bar. Enough said.
• One of the attendees may or may not have made relations with my younger sister outside the front of the pub.
• The barman gave me free shots because he didn't think I'd drunk enough. Then I vomitted in a nearby laneway.
• Willis & Hoy literally carried me home. Mates!

Here's a few old photos of the events prior to the debauchery:

Then some idiot gave me a wig and everything started to get loose.





Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures from here on. However feel free to email them to me if you have any tucked away in a random computer file somewhere.

So anyway, I'm possibly off there again later this week. Hope they don't remember me.

Howzat!!

I went to the 4th and final day of the 5th Ashes test in Sydney a couple of weeks ago, courtesy of the good people at 3 Mobile. Definite perk of working for a PR firm.

Anyway, it was Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath and Justin Langer's last ever test match. A momentous day indeed and one to most definitely tell the grandkids about.

A perfect setting to watch half a day of cricket. The Poms got their asses well and truly handed to them, with a 5-0 Ashes whitewash - the first since 1921.

Ashes whitewash


One of Warnie's last ever test match overs...


The boys do a victory lap...


Brett Lee & Matt Hayden

Hello 2007!

It's catch-up time.

New years - I had the pleasure of being hosted at an apartment just off Terrigal Beach for a couple of nights by Rob Scott, a sterling bloke I met through Jonnie Hoy.

Ten points to the groundsman, who preparded a nice flat pitch for the pre-dinner intra-house cricket match. Nice action, Hoy.

Feeling a bit of 1st year uni deja-vu, we embarked on some drinking games of the highest order, deconstructing the age-old favourite 'Pass the Pigs'. In short, we rolled a couple of rubber pigs and got suitably pissed.

One of my better rolls...

Here's a couple of other pictures of a few pissed idiots at the Crown Plaza hotel:

Proudly sponsored by Bundy...

Some of the 06/07 crew...

Happy birthday Angus

I know, I'm shit.

I was informed the other evening by one Angus George that I haven't blogged in quite a while. In light of this, he suggested it would be a terriffic opportunity to wish him a very happy birthday for yesterday, whilst re-entering the blogosphere after a fortnightly layoff.

So, happy birthday! May the fist be with you on this auspicious occasion.

Here's a picture of Angus and I in preparing for the high seas several months ago.

Cricket, catches, crimson sunsets and a couple of days in the car

So you've probably already seen my Christmas post. So, so much more went on. The days at home were quite strenuous - cyclically spent lying on the couch, watching the cricket, sleeping, getting some exercise walking to the fridge for some nourishment, watching the cricket...

When that wasn't happening, I was playing cricket with the fam on Dad's beautifully prepared (mowed) pitch. As you can see from the picture, Mum has most definitely mastered the sweep/hook/on-drive combination. Dad didn't do much, as Mum was pounding Cass' thunderbolts to every corner of the yard. Meils simply resembled a smurf.

Dad and I also went fishing - we bagged two beautiful flatheads and a ripper afternoon in the boat. We ended up BBQing the two flatties the next day. I also caught a flounder, but we won't speak of it.

Let's just say that it's kind of like Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore: too wrong - too young.


Alas, all good things must eventually come to an end - it became time for the sun to set on my holiday in Coffs. Get it - there's a picture of a Coffs Harbour sunset from my parent's balcony!

So we left Coffs and the road trip continued (see the red below):

The five of us - bundled up and on our way to Nan & Pa's in Central Western NSW, approximately 750kms away. What a trip - thank Christ for iPods! But seriously, I really enjoyed (if not lamented) seeing the different life and landscapes along the way: from the seemingly endless waterfalls in the mountains near Dorrigo, through to the patchy wheat crops and lanky, shrunken cattle around the Tamworth and Quirindi areas; not to mention the dry gum-leaf enshrouded roads along the Bell River from Wellington to Cumnock.

Below: A picture of one of the paddock's adjacent to Nan and Pa's residence.

Once finally there, it was just so great to see the rels. After a couple of days of BBQ's, cups of tea and catching up with all and sundry, we headed back to Sydney, where New Years awaited...

So this is Christmas...

Ho ho ho - and I'm not talking about Paris Hilton.

I came up home to Mum and Dad's at Coffs to celebrate Christmas. In my family, Christmas isn't a time for giving. Hell no. It's a time for consuming. That is, enough seafood, fruit, meat, vegetables and piss to sink a small 16th century Chinese sea-trade vessel.

The day started for me at around 6:30am, preparing the ingredients for a prawn dish I was responsible for at lunch time.

Cass had been bouncing off the walls since 3am and Meils struggled with the concept of daylight, being dragged out of bed at a very un rock 'n roll hour of 8am (see pic below).

Absolute corker of a day - blue skies, beautiful Aussie weather. After opening our gifts, we went down to Woolgoolga Beach in the morning for a swim. We then came back to the homestead, prepared a beautiful brunch, sat on the couch, hit the piss again during the 5 o'clock happy hour with pina coladas, then enjoyed another smashing meal prepared by my gorgeous mother and two voracious sisters.

All in all, a ripper of a day. But back to the pressies - I received:

• A white shirt with textured pink squares with french cuffs
• A new pair of boardshorts, dress shorts and belt
• Frisbee
• A few puzzles and intellectual paraphernalia
• A moose that shits jelly beans
• A new white bonds wife-beater
• Wine and bar goods
• Kitchen items.

Story of my life.

BINGAY!

Sixteen, one-six. Legal age for boys and girls, sixteen...

Sixty-nine, six-nine. Dinner for two, sixty-nine...

Eighty-eight, eight-eight. Two fat ladies - it's lonely in the sidecar...

Clare, Amelia, Karla, Clare's mate Whitey, Chris, Malin, Millgate, myself and some random Canadian guy looking for boy-love went to Bingay at the Imperial Hotel on Tuesday.

For those uninitiated, it's basically regular bingo run by Mitzi MacIntosh, one of Australia's favourite drag queens and her sidekick dyke, Naomi. Once your numbers are all called out, you have to yell 'BINGAY!!'. If you call 'Bing-O', you have to wear a penis-hat. Quite simple, really.

The best thing about it is that all prizes are donated and money raised from the games goes to the AIDS Council of NSW.

So anyway, we went to Bingay, had a fabulous time, darling, and won a few things along the way. Millgate won a topless garden gnome, some condoms, chocolate and some tickets to Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Karla won a Natio beauty gift pack and Clare won a meat tray and a copy of Mission Impossible III on DVD. Yes, that's right, a meat tray. Eight lamb chops, six thick snags, two slabs of rump steak and a mutton leg.

Let me entertain you...

Clare and I went to see Robbie Williams last Sunday evening. Here's a few pics:

At the pub prior. Did you know I once turned down an offer as one of Robbie's backup dancers?

Robbie in full flight.

Clare enjoys seeing Robbie doing shots on stage.

Vroom!

After 2599 days of strenuous study (just over seven years), I was officially awarded my Provisional P1 NSW Driver's Licence! In that time, I've been the proud owner of 4 sets of L's.

I would have some photos of me getting my licence for the blog, however the staff at North Ryde RTA didn't appreciate photography "of any kind" (is there any other?) to be taken. Lucky the NSW government doesn't equip them with batons, otherwise my mate Dave and I would have been taken into a padded room and beaten senseless.

And thanks to all of the people who have provided me with rides over the past few years - I think it's now time to give back.

Bad oral incident

Why have I been up since 3:30am on a school night? Because my back right bottom molar is inflamed like a mo-fo and currently feels like North Korea is using the area as part of their nuclear testing regime.

The bonus is that I've already read today's stories on SMH online.

I'm going to see a dentist tomorrow.

Booty-shak'n roadtrip

The trip back from the engagement party was a bit subdued - it seemed the night's festivities were quite taxing on the girls' REM cycles. Karla and Dani may have also been suffering from the effects of late night hypothermia.

So beyond talking cricket and how amazing our mos were looking toward the end of the month, Willis & I decided we'd get some booty shak'n happening, just to keep the roadtrip back to Old Sydney Town kicking along.



He taught Beyonce everything she knows...

Here comes the bride...

Nice outfits - scared the shit out of us.

Congrats to Penny and her soon-to-be husband Josh.

The crew went for a bit of a road trip up to Newcastle to celebrate the lovers' engagement. The party was a great opportunity to meet some more of Josh's mates, eat chops stacked 3-high on platters as big as Newy surfboards and of course, get pissy with the Batho kids. Here's a few photos (there may or may not be some more colourful ones on another site - for those in the know, they're hot. Thanks to Tim M.):

Karla and Dani getting ready. They'd make a fabulous pair of Charlie's Angels.

Crare and Ezre.

That's what mates are for. I had a bit of lamb chop stuck in my beard. Check out our mos.

Penny & I...