Our new flatmate - Dan

A couple of weeks ago we trialled a new flatmate named Dan. A funny story actually - we found him down on his luck and sitting out the front of our building, left to rot by his previous flatmates.

He passed the trial with flying colours and now resides in our living room. He's a really top bloke - always a cool customer, and whilst not being overly conversational, he's often the first to give you a nice coldy after work.

As the past few weekends have shown, he can also hold his piss remarkably well.

Blockbuster referee

So the season ends for one of the season's best performers - here's a mini-movie I made to mark the occasion...

Sydney University beat Norths 16-3 with Mr Willis having a very strong end to the season.

It's all fun and games

It's been quite an active few month. Here's a few pics:

Phil Waugh, Al Baxter and myself sing the national anthem in front of le Eiffel Tower. Emotional stuff.

Wales vs. Australia @ Telstra Stadium, May 26th. Australia wins the game 29-23 in the final few seconds of the game, after Stephen Hoiles scores a try in the corner right in front of Willis & I. Thanks to Weens for the free tickets!

A depressed trio of Welsh supporters lament the fact that their team came within only a few seconds of beating the Wallabies at home for the first time since 1969. Willis celebrates.

We then went to GC's for a celebrationary feed. Angus - Julie Lo Mo said to say hi and that she wants her Burberry skirt back.

Sunday afternoon golf - the 6th hole on Cammeray Golf Course, May 27th. For anyone who knows anything about golf, my stance is absolutely shithouse, which is probably why I nearly killed a pair of Asian golfing enthusiasts with a stray ball on the previous hole.


The Swans at the SCG, June 2nd. I had the pleasure of accompanying Ms. Karla L. Paff to the very salubrious Trustees Box, where the beer, wine and pretzels flowed. That's ex-Australian Test bowler Geoff Lawson sitting in front of us. The Swans lost 73-74 due to two very contentious umpiring decisions.


Falcon St North Sydney, June 3rd, circa 2am. We all went out to Oxford St after the Swans, then Willis and I caught the bus home. This is a picture of me chasing after my wallet which I conveniently left on my seat. Being the well-oiled athletic machine, I was able to chase down the bus and retrieve said wallet. Yeah!


June 6th, Casino de la Wright (AKA the Wright's place in Huntley's Point). Poker and ribs night with the boys. This is a picture of Willis, just before he was about to go all in (alllllriiiight!).

Good morning Vietnam! (...and Thailand)

Willis and I decided last night that we'd take advantage of Jetstar's 3rd birthday airfare sale and go on a holiday to South East Asia. We fly into Ho Chi Minh city on the 22nd of November, then fly out of Phuket on the 5th of December.

That's right...cheap beers, seafood and croissants...snorkling, tanning and raquet sports...yeah!!!

Everything else in between is still to be worked out. Any ideas???

Willis & I will be flying an F-16 Fighting Falcon. Ho Chi Minh airport supports both civilian and military aircraft.

THE wedding

Firstly, my apologies for not posting this up sooner. I have been recuperating from the aftermath of such a shit-hot weekend.

Getting there

I was packing darkies as Clare and I headed up the F3 freeway with rain pelting toward us from seemingly unimaginable angles. I was thinking of how Penny must be feeling, with the irony of that annoying Alanis Morrisette song beating about in her head.

With the rains clearing, Clare and I decended upon Maitland McDonalds to get changed - below is a picture of Clare walking back to the car in some wooly attire. The guy in the brown t-shirt was like, "WTF?".

We managed to get to the church a little early, yet still only scoring the last of the seats. With half an hour until the main action was due to start, I tried to relieve my pent up excitement by inspecting Clare's ear canal.

Clare looked absolutely gorgeous on the day. And the hat! Stunning!!

The wedding

But 'stunning' would be an understatement when speaking about Penny. Wow. She looked like an absolute angel, beaming like a snow flake floating its way across a crystalline Tasmanian mountain.

Here's a quick video snapshot of the wedding:

Millgate and Sar un'veil' their cheeky sides.

The reception

Penny and Josh arrive by horse and cart. What an entrance!

The Evans'


To quote Paff at this exact moment: "Oh! I love love!!". Also note the small child reaching for an early piece of cake.

The gang.

There is a distinct question to be asked in the above photo. Why is Millgate making a move on Clare? He looks kind-of into it, but Clare...well, slightly confused. Please explain.

One for the photo album. Did I mention that our outfits matched on the day?

Willis & Weens: Watch out Daryl Somers and the Dancing With The Stars crew!

Late-night hot chips and sauce from Gresford - thanks to Willis and Weens "The Carbohydrate Express".

Millgate and Dani cut up the dancefloor. Hot dress Posty!


Considering Millgate's earlier advances, I'm really not sure what to say about this photo. It was fun though.

"I need answers"

This particular photo was taken at 3am after Tim couldn't find a nestful of individual easter eggs he had strategically placed around the farm. Perhaps those late night cookies were throwing his radar slightly off course?

The morning after

Ezre finds said easter eggs the morning after.


Karla's trashbag feet.



Willis & Weens slept in their car. The full-length nightsuit Weens is wearing - I've no idea either!

A loose nut, but thankfully the wheels stay on

Well, it's been a festive few Saturday nights out of late. Instead of spruiking multiple posts of me essentially getting pissed and acting like an idiot, I thought I throw it all into the one drunken melting pot.

Millgate's housewarming

Elton John even made an appearance at Millgate's housewarming.

What a host! I arrived at a very flash Marrickville home to be greeted by a smiling Mr Millgate with a 100-pack of spring rolls and glass of sparkling in hand. A bevvy of fantastic people there on the night, I got to meet the rest of the housemates, a few random mates of Tim's, and of course - the gorgeous CSU crowd.

I indulged in 4 long necks of Coopers Pale Ale and about 40 spring rolls. I made my exit just before the crowd moved onto a few gay bars - as much of a confidence boosting exercise it could have been, I had another engagement for the evening to attend to...

Pillaging & plundering with Traill et al

Wow. What a party. Seriously up there with some of the loosest I've experienced. Made me miss Bathurst.

Traill decided to co-host a party with a few mates at a three-tiered terrace in Glebe. Theme: Viking.

• Three levels
• Two DJ's
• Live band
• Suckling pig on the spit (I only caught the carcass-end of this particular facet, so have decided not to post photos of it on the blog for fear of offending an animal liberationist swine-lover something...)
• Fur, leather, swords and other 10th century Scandinavian paraphernalia
• A room titled 'the dutch oven' with projected movie about a midget motorcyclist named Little Wang Wang

A picture of Traill consuming the blood of a virgin calf from a jewelled war helmet. Or maybe it's some Absolut Citron and lemonade.

At about 1am, a couple of polite gentlemen dressed in blue decided to quieten the festivities down somewhat, so Lloyd, Morgs and I headed to the city to continue our discussions into the finer points of politically-motivated environmental rhetoric leading into the 2007 NSW state election.

For some reason, we struggled to get in anywhere - perhaps it was the viking helmets sitting proudly on our heads, combined with our glistening swords and shields? It would be a different story if there were a pack of unruly Saxons wreaking havoc inside...

Morgs successfully deflecting a strike from one of the bouncers metal-detectors.

We ended up getting into the Shark Bar, agreeing to leave our weapons at the door. It was fun.

Footy, mates and other shenanigans!

Willis managed to get some free tickets to the Waratahs for Halter, his bro Andy and myself. I thought it would be rude not to go.

But on one condition - I'm not drinking. "OK", I thought, "I'll take this thermos and drink hot beverages instead of schooners at the footy". Top idea - and it lasted, until I hit Paddo RSL after the match and felt like a cheeky scotch.

The Waratahs sucked that night - losing to the Stormers 16-10.

After a few extra scotches at the Paddo, we wandered down to Fringe Bar. Did you know it was St Patrick's Day that day also?

Check out:

• My thermos. Thanks mum.
• The guy's vacant arm. Obviously he was escorting some young lady, who managed to slip out of his outstretched grasp after he passed out.
• The drool patch on this dude's shirt.

So here's a few pictures from the night:

This is an arty picture of the inside of Fringe Bar, taken with a long exposure. I really like the ripples from the disco balls - kind of 'liquifies' the light.

Willis crumping, Dave wondering what he's doing out with these two fools, me shocked at an ever-receding hairline.

I met Jules there - we danced for about 2 hours...awesome!!! However, my upper left trapezius may have cramped awkwardly, just as I was in the middle of a lifting movement with her.

This is a picture of the half-cow's ass we slapped on the BBQ for breakfast when we got home.

First, but definitely not the last

I felt like Montgomery at the battle of El Alamein. The first, decisive battle. The first, decisive step toward greatness...

...the first, decisive step toward Australian free-to-air TV glory.

ABC...tick!

Willis, Amelia and I ventured to the ABC studios a few days ago to be on a new show called difference of opinion. It's hosted by Geoff McMullen and comprises of a panel of 'experts' (generally ABC left-wing co-conspirators) and a studio audience itching to get that ABS stat they read on the internet that morning onto national TV.

We didn't need to say anything, our looks said it all:

Oops, wrong photo...here we go - much more serious:

Meils was an absolute hit with the lesbian camera woman, getting a long, loving pause toward the end of the show. She was also the last person to be shown from the audience in the closing credits. Probably because she looked hot. Great genes, you know.

Anyway, so the subject matter was multiculturalism - not as heated as I was expecting, however I found the production process quite revealing, never being in a studio audience before.

Here's a picture of Willis and I with Geoff McMullen. I think he shat his pants. Lucky I didn't ask him for his autograph.

But like every good commander, I don't rest until the job is well and truly done. Clare and I are off to film an episode of Ready Steady Cook on the 7th of next month. Email me or leave a comment if you want to go and see me kick her culinary ass.

Carn 'straya

I recognise this may be about 12 days old, however I was going through my camera and thought that I couldn't miss a blog about Australia Day. Check out the rock-star glasses Dave's wearing.

Willis, Edwina and I decended on Mr & Mrs D. Halter's residence in Wombat Heights. I was a little tired after seeing a sterling win by the Waratahs and celebrating with some appropriate post-match entertainment - who knew that $2 could bring so much joy!

Similar to many accounts of people here in Sydney, Australia Day was an absolute corker. Dave MANned the BBQ, Willis sourced some delicious lamb snags and I made a salad.

This is a picture of Willis doing some crazy two-handed tennis shit. Edwina looks on lovingly. She has a thing for ambidextrous men.

Thanks to Dave and Kate for a lovely afternoon.

The anointed one

The Captain Cook - was it ever the same? Well, I wouldn't know. Willis and I missed our bus stop, mainly due to my idiocy. On the plus side, we got to the Sydney Football Stadium nice and early, trialled some of their finest new asian takeaway cuisine, had a couple of schooners, met Dave and his brother Andy, and settled in for the footy.

For those who have been living in a (perhaps self-imposed) rugby vacuum, the NSW Waratahs were playing the NZ's Canterbury Crusaders last Friday in a final trial before the main Super 14 competition starts.



The much-awaited home debut of one Kurtley Beale created much excitement amongst the rugby supporters and scribes from across the country. He's an 18 year-old rugby 'prodigy' fresh out of St Joseph's College and has the hopes of NSW rugby supporters, and interestingly, the aboriginal community on his shoulders. Not since Cathy Freeman has a young aboriginal athlete created so much excitement from the sporting masses. I say good luck to him - let's just hope he can keep his head firmly planted on the ground.



He has certainly got some things to work on in defence, his kicking game and in some of his decision-making, but his frenetic unpredictability with the ball in hand may provide the Waratahs with that spark that will hand them a Super 14 title in 2007/08. If only we can find a decent scrummaging tight-head prop...

With all of this chat about Kurtley in the paper, the boys and I decided to pre-empt some sporting headlines:

• When he wins a celebrity game show: "Beale or no Beale"
• When he proves himself to be a quality player: "The real Beale" (This one was actually used the day after WE thought of it...)
• When he kicks the winning field goal in the World Cup final: "Bealey, Bealey good"
• When he is out injured for the season and the team doesn't do so well: "NSW discover their achilles Beale"
• When he goes to the children's hospital to say hi to sick cancer kids: "NSW show their touchy-Bealey side"
• When he starts seeing National Nine News weather girl Jaynie Seal: "Beale bones Seal"
• When he injures an opposing player in a tackle: "Beale makes Crusader's prop squeal"
• When he takes a continuous battering from Ritchie McCaw, but puts in a match-winning performance: "Beale - Man of Steel"
• Well into his career, amid criticisms about his style of play, one scribe goes into bat for him: "No need to reinvent the Beale"
• After a massive night out: "Beery Beale steals cab car wheel"
• When he swaps codes, to play Rugby League with Parramatta: "Waratahs Beale to become Eel"
• When the NSW Waratahs bring out a team cookbook: "Kurtley Beale - Breast of veal with candied citrus peal"
• Named Cleo bachelor of the year: "Beale got sex appeal"
• After he breaks his leg in a freak green-grocery accident: "Beale slips on banana peal"

And I think you get the point.

Here comes the bride...

Nice outfits - scared the shit out of us.

Congrats to Penny and her soon-to-be husband Josh.

The crew went for a bit of a road trip up to Newcastle to celebrate the lovers' engagement. The party was a great opportunity to meet some more of Josh's mates, eat chops stacked 3-high on platters as big as Newy surfboards and of course, get pissy with the Batho kids. Here's a few photos (there may or may not be some more colourful ones on another site - for those in the know, they're hot. Thanks to Tim M.):

Karla and Dani getting ready. They'd make a fabulous pair of Charlie's Angels.

Crare and Ezre.

That's what mates are for. I had a bit of lamb chop stuck in my beard. Check out our mos.

Penny & I...