PR, darling

One of the biggest stereotypes of my profession is that I wear Versace and attend numerous launches, openings or A-list after-parties. After nearly 2 years in the industry, I finally got an invite for myself and a partner to live the stereotype and attend the opening of a new Strike Bowling Bar down in King Street Wharf.

I thought considering it was his birthday the day before, I'd ask my good mate Jonnie to come along to knock over the odd pin and schooner.

There was free pool, free drinks and finger food, a DJ, disco-style bowling and a whole host of corporate leaches like myself.

But the highlight of the night? Kicking back with a mate I seldom see enough of - gold.

It's kind of like doing the Paso Doble, only with a 6kg piece of polished stone.

Some strong form on the evening, George Frilingos will be shitting himself if Jonnie goes pro.

Playing cupid: Jonnie

A hopeless romantic frequently mistaken for David Hasselhoff, Jonnie (at right) enjoys long walks on the beach and watching the sun set over the Pacific Ocean whilst talking feelings. Note the happy couple in the background. He just has that effect on people.

One of my best mates has decided to put himself up onto the singles real estate market - a pick of the bunch, especially if you're looking for a bit of a cheap rental.

Not just for my friends, family and associated acquaintances, I strongly encourage random readers of this blog to post a comment/amorous affirmation, regardless of your geographic disposition or aversion to really really ridiculously good looking young men.

From the man himself:

"I am now widely regarded as the best big spoon in the Eastern Suburbs and am confident of taking the Sydney metropolitan title later this year. Anyone who is looking to improve their big spooning technique, or any little shweetie spoons who are searching for something more than just an event performed in the hope of coitus, please make a comment".

I thought I'd pose a couple of questions to give readers a bit more of an insight into the man who Nelson Mandela once described as 'OK':

If you were to be the lead singer in a boy band, who would it be and why?
I'd be any lead singer in any boy band just so I could wear the shexy clothing and get my make up done.

Would you rather: get with John Howard or parachute nude into a swimming pool full of Amazonian candiru fish?
I would like to get with John Howard whilst nude in a pool with the fish.

What would constitute your perfect date?
A girl not leaving before the main course has come out.

If you could get plastic surgery for any part of your body, where would it be and why?
My penis, 11 inches really is just too much for any man.

Complete these sentences:
Hotelbell...Is that a brothel?
My mates think that I am...a person with the personality of an autistic piece of chalk.
I have an amazing...collection of bat faeces on my car at the moment.

So there you have it. A single, honest and very eligible young bachelor putting himself out there for the benefit of advancing the genetic excellence of Australia's next generation.

Pimp'n it up

I get a call from my mate Jonnie at about 5:30pm on Saturday afternoon that went a little like this:

J: Herro

S: Well herro! Hans Brix, how very rice to shree you...

J: Wow, you're so funny - and good looking. Lil and I are headed up to Palm Beach to stay for the night at some guy's place, want to come?

S: OK.

And so it was, we ventured up to Sydney's beach of the stars (well, Home & Away at least).


Steve Baxter has his own business, Sydney Audio Visual, installing everything from the most pimp'n plasma TV's through to the kind of sound systems you'd experience in Snoop Dogg's own kitchen, but at an affordable price.

Anyway, he had to do some work for one of his clients, who mentioned that whilst there he should take advantage of the place for the weekend and invite some friends over.

Jonnie invited me on Baxter's behalf - I thought it'd be rude not to. So we got up there, had a couple of beers, met some ripper people from Inverell and headed off for a relatively early night (after a cheeky night-ocean swim).

What a place - the living room was literally as big as my apartment. It kind of makes you feel like a bit of a pleb, but at the same time you think the guy who owned the place has either been really smart with his cash or worked his ass off. Either way, good luck to the bloke.

Then again, he could be a professional hit man or drug dealer. However, I digress...

The view from the balcony

Got up the next morning and we paid $45 for a dozen eggs, some bacon, a loaf of bread, 3 tomatos and a paper (bloody Palm Beach locals). Then we went for a bit of a surf down at Whale Beach (I have never seen such a glorious array of silicone in my life). Really really enjoyed my time in the surf - it makes you want to move closer to the beach really...caught some 'gnarley' waves 'dude'...nothing huge, but it was great to see Jonnie do some 'real' surfing. He's absolutely killing it, considering the short time he's been actively surfing. Just hope he remembers me when he's on the Billabong Pro Tour.


This is a picture of Jonnie and I. We're so hot.

What a bloody random, fabulous weekend.

Hello 2007!

It's catch-up time.

New years - I had the pleasure of being hosted at an apartment just off Terrigal Beach for a couple of nights by Rob Scott, a sterling bloke I met through Jonnie Hoy.

Ten points to the groundsman, who preparded a nice flat pitch for the pre-dinner intra-house cricket match. Nice action, Hoy.

Feeling a bit of 1st year uni deja-vu, we embarked on some drinking games of the highest order, deconstructing the age-old favourite 'Pass the Pigs'. In short, we rolled a couple of rubber pigs and got suitably pissed.

One of my better rolls...

Here's a couple of other pictures of a few pissed idiots at the Crown Plaza hotel:

Proudly sponsored by Bundy...

Some of the 06/07 crew...