Playing cupid: Jonnie
A hopeless romantic frequently mistaken for David Hasselhoff, Jonnie (at right) enjoys long walks on the beach and watching the sun set over the Pacific Ocean whilst talking feelings. Note the happy couple in the background. He just has that effect on people.
One of my best mates has decided to put himself up onto the singles real estate market - a pick of the bunch, especially if you're looking for a bit of a cheap rental.
Not just for my friends, family and associated acquaintances, I strongly encourage random readers of this blog to post a comment/amorous affirmation, regardless of your geographic disposition or aversion to really really ridiculously good looking young men.
From the man himself:
"I am now widely regarded as the best big spoon in the Eastern Suburbs and am confident of taking the Sydney metropolitan title later this year. Anyone who is looking to improve their big spooning technique, or any little shweetie spoons who are searching for something more than just an event performed in the hope of coitus, please make a comment".
I thought I'd pose a couple of questions to give readers a bit more of an insight into the man who Nelson Mandela once described as 'OK':
If you were to be the lead singer in a boy band, who would it be and why?
I'd be any lead singer in any boy band just so I could wear the shexy clothing and get my make up done.
Would you rather: get with John Howard or parachute nude into a swimming pool full of Amazonian candiru fish?
I would like to get with John Howard whilst nude in a pool with the fish.
What would constitute your perfect date?
A girl not leaving before the main course has come out.
If you could get plastic surgery for any part of your body, where would it be and why?
My penis, 11 inches really is just too much for any man.
Complete these sentences:
Hotelbell...Is that a brothel?
My mates think that I am...a person with the personality of an autistic piece of chalk.
I have an amazing...collection of bat faeces on my car at the moment.
So there you have it. A single, honest and very eligible young bachelor putting himself out there for the benefit of advancing the genetic excellence of Australia's next generation.
10 comments:
i hope this is going to become a regular aspect of your blog, Belly!
With the amount of single females in our csu crew, you could be on to something!!!
ps i am in love with your friend. it's true. i am moving back to sydney to be with him. can you let him know, please?
ta
Sar
Glad you enjoyed the post - we'll have to see whether it becomes a semi-regular spot...perhaps a profile on you next?
Jonnie
My uni friend Sar is moving in. Hope Stu, Vanders and your stoner Irish neighbours don't mind?
Stoner Irish neighbours? hmm i might not be the most faithful girlfriend.
yeeeehhh make it a regular!!!! hahahaha can't wait.
As I have been away from my computer for a while, I've posted comments tonight for the last two weeks. Meanwhile, I don't really want to go there with too much info on this blog (I have a lot of dirt on J.H.) all I can say he is a mothers dream - always loyal, thoughtful and polite.
Hmmm... dilemma... See, I'd like to throw my hat into the ring (no pun intended), but I think my efforts to seduce Jonnie would probably be wasted.
But feel free to remind him that once you go black, you never go back *wink wink nudge nudge*
;o)
So currently we have offers from a woman situated in the middle of a central Australian desert, and an eager gay man with a slight facial twitch *wink wink*.
The quest to find Jonnie a date is looking increasingly bleak. However, with my mum confirming to all that he's a good bloke, I think we'll give this a couple more days.
But all won't be lost for our brave inaugural single man. If all doesn't work out, I'll just organise a 'date' for the two of us (go out, get shit faced, eat steak, talk feelings)
belly, with technology as advanced as it is these days, i dont think you can write me off purely based on the fact that i am a mere 1500 km away.
I think it may be a slight hindrance, especially if any aformentioned spooning is potentially involved.
Although, we could do some sort of e-date...Jonnie?
just to throw a spanner in the works... how about hearing from someone all the way over in London, UK who has actually been on a date with jonnie?
firstly let me warn any hopeful jonnie dater not to let him lure u into the spa... its dangerous. and that while first impressions may be of a charming, intelligent and well mannered young man, give him half a chance and he's likely to try and trick u into the cleaning cupboard (posing as his front door) when u r attempting a get-away ... yep, that old chestnut!
u gotta watch this one ;)
Ah, the old cleaning cupboard/front door trick. This does indeed throw a spanner in the works. El - are you suggesting a dating world tour from our eligible bachelor? First stop Oxford Street (Tim), then Alice Springs (Sar), then over on a flight to London to go for a milkshake with yourself.
Maybe we could convene everyone in a neutral venue, say Bangladesh, and have a Gladiators-style matchup. I reckon I could get Mike Whitney, Delta, Flame, Cobra and Commando on board.
Or maybe considering it's a match-making session for Jonnie, it would be more appropriate to get Mike and Tania Zaetta on board for a "Who dares wins" format.
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