Panda PR

It's panda-monium in Northern Thailand at the moment.

The Chiang Mai Zoo has painted their elephants to look like pandas in a PR attempt to help remind Thais of the plight of the national symbol. Not sure if this is brilliant, weird, animal cruelty or all of the above.

As background, the Thai public went absolutely nuts after a rare baby panda was born in Thailand in late May this year. Since then, there's been a panda frenzy amongst the Thai public with panda pens, panda screensavers, panda mobile covers, a panda song and other assorted panda accessories on sale left right and centre!

Traveling the spice route

I love to cook. However, my skills in culinary alchemy are still pretty remedial – especially when it comes to Asian cuisine.

Clare's Mum Libby has been an advocate for the Chiang Mai Cooking School (possibly on the payroll…) since she visited a few years ago. On her recommendation, Clare and I decided to spend two of our five days in Chiang Mai at the School’s outer campus learning about traditional Thai ingredients, techniques and dishes.

Was Libby right? Without a doubt - the School is definitely in my top 5 things to do in Thailand.

First morning, first stop – Chiang Mai market. Along with a gaggle of fifty-something-year-old women, Clare and I were showed around a local market by our guide “Balloon”. Thai’s have some weird nicknames here.

In all of her ladyboy glory, Balloon demonstrated how coconut cream/milk was made (raw coconut is squeezed, pressed and contorted to extract the ‘cream’ and oil, then boiled in water for the more diluted ‘milk’ product), and also introduced us to an amazing array of mushroom, chilli, herb and vegetable species.

The smells aren’t that dissimilar to what you might experience down at Sydney Markets in Flemington. And just like Sydney Markets, it’s a pretty exciting place.

Like a hive of Thai PI’s, locals wander methodically throughout the market looking for primary produce at a prime price. Children amuse themselves by hooking right into a rambutan (see left). You can smell the morning – it’s fresh and full of promise.

However, unlike in Sydney, dried fish and shrimp sit out in the morning sun attracting flies and my nasal senses. A man reaches into a barrel of live carp, bludgeons one with a plank of wood, then guts it nonchalantly, as if he’s being doing it every day for 20 years. He probably has.

The spectrum is like a blend of the Hunter Valley’s green hills and a Ken Done art exhibition.

From the markets, we move to the school, don our aprons, oil up our woks and get cracking.

First on the menu was Tom Jued - clear soup with minced pork. This dish was a revelation - not only was it delicious and amazingly simple to pull together, but it also reinforced the importance of fresh produce in Thai cooking. You basically make pork balls (with coriander root and garlic), cook them in some pre-boiled stock, chuck in some Chinese cabbage, tofu, glass noodles, soy and salt and pepper and serve. All this takes about just 5 minutes.

I won’t go through the rest of the 11 dishes we learned to make, but I’ll make mention of some of my cooking highlights from the two days.

Paw Pia Tord - Spring rolls. I’ve never made them from scratch before, so it was a pretty comical exercise for Clare and I. I learned you’ve got to be quick, otherwise your fingers may get burned.

Gai Hor Bai Toey - Chicken in pandanus leaves. Like the spring rolls, my culinary coordination failed me yet again, but it was a hell of a lot of fun doing it. Basically you wrap marinated chicken into these long spear-shaped leaves, so that they take the shape of a triangle. Then you bake them for a bit, let them cool, unwrap and smash'em. I thought at the time, they’d make a cracking snack to prepare for mates coming over for a few beers and a game of footy/cricket on TV.

Just as a brief side note, Thais use pandanus leaves when they cook their traditional custards, giving it not only a sweet, natural flavour somewhat akin to a light vanilla, but also a horror-movie slime green colour.

Gaeng Kheo Wan Gai - Green curry with chicken. A bit of a classic in Thai restaurants across Australia, I found most fascinating the process of extracting coconut oil from the coconut cream, which is then used to fry up the curry paste. I also learned that a simple garnish works well for curries too!


We also made:

• Red curry with roast duck (delicious!!)
• Chicken with ginger (Mum, you would have loved it)
• Mango with sticky rice (an old favourite)
• Thai hot and sour prawn soup (Tom Yum, not a fan)
• Thai style fish cakes (good for mates coming over)
• Thai style noodles (simple Phad Thai)
• Spicy minced pork salad (delicious, spicy dish relying on beautifully fresh ingredients, see Thai herb garden at right)
• Water chestnuts with sugar syrup and coconut milk (weird, but satisfying on a hot day).

Each day, I often thought of my family and friends who would just love the experience. I just knew that Mum would be right at home in the market and in talking with the head chefs, and that Dad would be just terrific behind the wok (as he is at home!). Edwina and Leslie would no doubt be in their element, also looking smashing in their branded aprons.

Thai cuisine, like that of many nations, says a lot about its country and people:

• It’s practical – it doesn’t burden itself with difficulty. Could it just be lazy?
• It’s structured – though the concept of order in this country is debatable, ingredients are still prepared with care and cooked with flair.
• It’s proud – Thai cooks are intensely proud that their traditional food still graces the spoons of its people, thousands of years on.
• It’s egalitarian – ingredients here are not only inexpensive, but the menu for the king varies little from that of the suburban seamstress or northern farmer.
• It’s communal – meals in Thailand are about sharing and family…you take your share from each dish and pass it on.
• It’s spicy – this place, despite it’s serene exoskeleton, can be a pretty vicious dish if you’ve blindly or arrogantly sprinkled yourself a bit too much chilli.

Spiritual Thailand

The King and I.
Note the fetching pair of pink fisherman pants. Apparently footie shorts aren't acceptable in the temple.

Buddhism and Thailand are about as symbiotic as schooners and doritos.

Approximately 94% of Thais are practicing Buddhists, with Wats (religious areas) nearly as common on street corners as Thailand's pseudo-capitalist shrine, the 7-Eleven. Even when hurtling full-pelt past a Wat in the back of a tuk-tuk, Thais will still manage to pay homage with a respectful Wai (like a bow using the hands).

Monks here are like William Shatner at a Star Trek convention. Even the poorest of Thais would offer what alms they can at the beginning of the day in respect of their religion and the monks' devotion.

Religious festivals are widely respected as times for religious observance and self-reflection. Clare and I were lucky enough to be close to one of Thailand's most revered Wats whilst visiting Chiang Mai during the Songkran Festival.

So we took the 45-minute sawngthaew up to the top of the area's tallest mountain to check out Wat Prathat Doi Sutep (Prathat temple on Mount Doi Sutep) - an amazing 625 year-old religious stalwart, roughly 15km across and 1.3km vertical from Chiang Mai city.

It was one of those moments I was stoked to have taken 2-unit Studies of Religion way back in 2000-2001 with that wonderful teacher Mrs Sue Kane. It was another unique opportunity to not only understand and appreciate a bit more about the core of Thailand's psyche, but also the peaceful, inward-looking, outward-acting religion.

Just like when we visited the Malaysian national mosque back in March, I was again thrown into wonder - why are people so drawn to religion...what are their motivations??? Maybe I was just getting high from all of the incense smoke...

Here's a few cool pics from the day...

(Left) This one's kind of cool - Thais line up in front of the little Buddhas and spoon sacred burning oil into each of the little cups, saying prayers along the way. This is usually accompanied by a Wai.

(Above right) Similar to left, Thai Buddhists toll the bells, sending prayers as the chime reverberates. Bells were tolling all day. It was sort of like a religious rock concert.

Clare and I in front of a great big bell, donated by a rich Thai businessman. In 1977, one of these cost THB100,000 (AUD$3,000).

This is a picture of me getting blessed by one of the monks in the temple. No need to worry - I haven't converted. It was a very spiritual experience though. I asked him to bless Clare and I with good fortune for our travels. I suppose it's worked - I still haven't been hit by a high tuk-tuk driver or mauled by a soi dog.

As I mentioned earlier, there was more smoke there than on Day 1 of a rehab clinic. Here, Thai's offer gifts and light incense sticks in respect to Buddha.

Classic Thailand

This is Thailand for a few reasons:

1. The pink shirts - Pink is a revered colour in Thailand...it is supposed to represent good health, after His Majesty the King wore the colour coming out of hospital one Tuesday. Thus, most Thai's wear the colour each Tuesday.
2. The sawngthaew - Like a ute with a cover, the sawngthaew usually carries people around their neighbourhood...you just flag it and jump on. Our local one drives us to our BTS for a flat rate of 6 baht (20c). This one is today being used to transport motorbikes.
   
3. Motorbikes - There are bloody hundreds of thousands of them here in Thailand.
4. The blokes standing around not doing much - There are bloody hundreds of thousands of them here in Thailand.
5. The disregard for common sense and safety - Whilst I have now become accustomed to seeing random things like this that defy OH&S standards, strangely in Thailand is kind of all works with anarchic fluidity.
   

Liquid ammunition

Flack jacket and protective gear...check.

Gun...check.

Ammo...check.

Map outlining area of operations...check.

Out there, it's an urban war. A guerrilla war. The kind of war where you just never know when you're going to get hit...

It's my first time in battle and I feel every bit the nervous, green soldier. My recon partner seems more relaxed, probably because she's been in-country before. We're camped in a green-zone right in the middle of the action, just outside the main walls of the old city. Our objectives are to survey the surrounding area, locate food supplies, and observe enemy movements.

I'm in a state of sensory overload. In the distance, I hear the shrieks of other soldiers in battle. It's hot. Sticky hot. My hands feel clammy. I can't help but flinch at every moving object, automatically steeling myself for an onslaught. I feverishly suck down a couple of litres of chlorinated, sodium-enriched water.

This war has been going on for years...an internal conflict that more and more foreign mercenaries are beginning to join, many simply for the thrill of adventure. Our intelligence reports that child soldiers, some as young as three years, are willfully participating. The enemy are camped in all directions, waiting for any opportunity to snipe unsuspecting newbies like me. I'm told the locals target your head and neck. Worse still, the foreign mercenaries, many of whom are outrageously high on a plethora of drugs, unforgivingly aim for the face.

Our orders are to move out. I step out into the fray.

I see thousands of enemy lining the streets, unafraid of opposing movements...seconds later I'm hit with an almighty salvo of liquid ammunition. I look around for my partner - she's been hit as well. We rush for cover, but they're everywhere.....


In the middle of April, there's no need to shower or wash your clothes in Chiang Mai. The locals (and many farang) kindly do it for you as you wear them walking down the street. The scene is called 'Songkran', a festival of pure aquatic pandemonium, where the Thai's celebrate the onset of their lunar new year.

Chiang Mai, roughly 700km north-east of Bangkok, is reputed to be Thailand's Songkran epicentre, as many Thais travel back to their home province for the holiday period, and many farang fill the hostels and hotels excited about being able to experience the world's biggest and longest water fight.

Back in the day, Chiang Mai was a key pit stop for traders traversing the Asian continent and beyond. The city was therefore also a hotspot for the good old frictional game of conquer and control. In the 11th century, a bloke by the name of King Mengrai built a square wall and moat around the city, in a bid to stop the city's arch-rivals, the Burmese mob, from getting in.

These days, the wall has pretty much been demolished by time, and temporary pumps provided by the government suck water out from the moats to now service a different fight.

Literally tens of thousands of people line the streets in Chiang Mai every day for four days during the festival. The roads close to the moat move at a snail's pace, with ute-loads of people liberally dispensing with barrels and barrels of water. Sort of like George St Sydney on a Saturay night, only with gallons and gallons of water. And less greasy hairdos.

Just about every kid - old and young - has a water pistol/cannon. The ones that don't, are likely swinging or jumping from trees into the dark grey moat water.

From a spiritual perspective, Thais celebrate Songkran by 'bathing' Buddha images; and the hands of monks and elders' are sprinkled with water (more on that later...).

Songkran for me was a wonderfully foreign experience. I couldn't help but think that something like it just wouldn't work in Australia, especially on a national scale...people would just get too agro, go over the top and the police would have to jump in, a la the Cronulla riots.

The people in Chiang Mai were dripping with joy and celebration...an amazing atmosphere to experience.

Here's a few more pics to demonstrate more of the craziness that is Thailand's yearly Songkran festival:

Ice was big on the streets of Chiang Mai. The locals would buy a block like this, dunk it into a huge barrel, fill the barrel with water, then splash or pour said water on your head. A good way to get over a hangover.

One of the most random experiences, there was a end-of-festival parade through the streets of Chiang Mai, finishing at the provincial Ambassador's residence. We ended up joining in with the beating drums, cymbals, singing and dancing. The lady next to me gave me my lei, as she was impressed with my pink singlet (a colour considered regally respectful in Thailand).

Big wet action from the back of the utes.

More action on the streets. Note the guy with the cannon at the bottom right.

Thousands of people lined the streets.

I'm not sure if this kid was scared of this guy because he was dressed like RoboCop, or because of the imminent soaking he was about to receive.

Fetching water from the moat.