The tonic, minus the gin

This is just what we needed.

We checked into Iudia last night and were welcomed with a breathtaking view over the Chao Phraya from our residence - Wat Phuttaisawan, the 14th century former digs of King Ramathibodi I, founder of Ayutthaya.

Fronting the Ayutthaya World Heritage Park, Wat Phutthaisawan was cast in a wonderful glow last night. Separated by a mere 100m of water, I felt quite humbled as I looked toward the 'old' world from our chic surrounds.

I was reading only the other day about Robert the Bruce, the great Scottish King, who would have been a regal contemporary of King Ramathibodi. Around about the same time big Bob was smashing the English, Ramathibodi was establishing the structural ingredients of Siamese government. (It's sometimes useful to try to put Asian history into a European context - I often find it hard to find a conceptual anchor.)

Right now, it's dawn and I'm overlooking the Wat Phutthaisawan again, this time cast in a more natural light, listening to the melodious combination of morning birdsong, Islamic call to prayer and monks chanting - a really special opportunity.

There's also a bloke up river in a small boat who's just cast his nets for this morning - made me think of being out in the tinnie with Dad at first light.

This place rocks.

And there's not a Cosmopolitan Bride magazine anywhere in sight.

Suburban sunset soccer

A bunch of young fellas kick the soccer ball around in front of National Stadium as the day wanes...

A tale of two Thailands

Clare and I are currently trying to align all the planets to ensure the various elements of invitation design, stock sourcing and printing come together into a celestial proposal to rival the big bang.

Doing it in a foreign country has proved somewhat challenging, with the language and cultural barriers yet again providing us with the kinds of experiences I look forward to looking back on and laughing about in the years to come.

Clare has been bearing most of the weight, so I can't complain too much.

Which is why I'm sitting here blogging from the comfort of a supple white leather couch in an innercity beauty parlour, while Clare's face is morphed into something resembling an overripe mango.

The yin and yang of Asia...

Happy birthday to me!

My friend Bonnie sent this YouTube video through to me for my our birthday - classic!

Just another Saturday night in the soi

Our new apartment is in a soi (street) which also houses Wat Phra Si Maha Umathewi, built in the 1860s by Tamil immigrants and one of Bangkok's most revered Hindu temples. The Central Asian population in my area is the mainstay of the temple community, while others come from all over Bangkok to worship.

Last night was pretty standard for the soi, with thousands of people converging on the temple to celebrate Diwali.

A cloud of incense and wafts of rosewater filled the air, while a percussion band kept the vibe going with their tribal beats. The flowers and offerings were pretty cool, with all manner of garlands, Bualuang (lotus), coconuts, bananas, food and even what looked to be a glass of coke (your kind of deity Angus). Firecrackers were going off until about 1am.

I was up at 7am this morning to go for a run with a mate and amazingly the soi was spotless. There always seems to be something to celebrate at temple, so by now the cleanup goes like clockwork!

The security of tomorrow's Thailand

I attended a small Australian Chamber of Commerce luncheon today about the ‘certainty and uncertainty of Thai politics’, presented by the Editor-in-Chief of the Bangkok Post/Post Today - what’s for certain is that I am even more confused!

I sat next to Natchaon, a young Thai woman who is currently completing her second masters degree. Khun Natchaon is studying consumer behaviour specifically relating to home and personal security (random!). Some of her interim findings were interesting from a sociological perspective…

Over this way ‘luck’ and ‘karma’ provide ways for Thais to order and explain life’s events. If, for instance, you are hit by a motorbike on your way to work, a traditional Thai would explain it as an imbalance of bad karma – doing too many bad things, or not enough of the good. To counter this imbalance, many Thais ‘make merit’ by giving to the poor, helping monks etc. It’s all part of the social fabric over here.

Despite this, Khun Natchaon found respondents to have differing attitudes to personal and home security, largely based along generational lines.

Those up to the age of 30 tended to be more inclined to purchase personal security products. Those aged over 30 were not so inclined to purchase products like home CCTV or electronic access, as they believe an instance of home robbery (‘bad luck’) is an uncontrollable occurrence directly resulting from their own karma inaction, thus a bad way to spend their money.

Why is this interesting?

It shows that for good or bad, Thailand’s next generation (middle class and up) are changing the way Thai’s frame their lives. The next generation are becoming more proactive in taking control of their life, which will no doubt flow into issues of politics and democracy, consumerism, the relevance of Buddhism, the family unit, socialism vs capitalism, and the monarchy.

Thailand will be very different in twenty years time…

0909090909

9 is an auspicious number here in Thailand.

So today - 09/09/09 - the Thais are going absolutely mental.

At 0909hrs this morning, an eruption of nationalism spewed out in front of my work, where bank employees gathered to sing two songs in honour of the King (you can see his picture in the background).

Standing there listening to the songs, I thought of a couple of things:

1. Would people do this for KRudd or the Queen?
2. Days like this are an absolute boon for the bloke who manufactures paper flags.
3. What is the King doing now?
4. I wonder if Clare was right when she said last night that a lot of pregnant women would be induced today?
5. Why does Clare keep bringing up so much talk about babies?

That's not a supermarket...THIS is a supermarket!

The mother of all supermarkets, Makro is probably best described as two parts aircraft hanger, one part disneyland and one part Coles.

I reckon they'd need a staff shuttle bus any time a checkout chick needed a price check...

Head in the clouds

It's 6.30am and for the first time in quite a while, I've woken up to the morning reverie of wild birds.

What makes it even more significant is that the closest Clare and I get to nature these days in Bangkok is in caring for our little struggler of a baby frangipani tree.

We flew up yesterday morning to Chiang Rai, in the mountainous north of Thailand, near the borders of Myanmar and Laos. We decided to brave the Thai roads and hire a little 4-door Honda Jazz - an absolute winner of an idea from Clare - spending most of yesterday driving along the back roads, checking out (modernised) tribal villages, cloud-swept mountain landscapes, postcard-perfect rice paddies and enjoying the cool air!

Until now, I had thought the authenticity of Thailand's cultural and ethnic heritage had been sold out to opportunistic travel operators. Not so in the north, with a modern tribal co-op system still working among the villages, embracing the advent of the new world, while seemingly keeping many of the traditions and cultural markers of their forepeople. The opium trade has challenged this in the past (and still), however I understand there to have been a significant shift away from the golden days of the Golden Triangle (more about this later).

We stayed last night on Doi Tung (Mt Tung), atop which the Queen Mother used to live. There's also a botanic garden here, which we hope to be able to visit today. Pictured above is the view we've just woken up to - so lucky!

For Karla - the government has worked to replace opium with coffee bean production as a means of resident income in the area, meaning some delicious fresh coffee available everywhere! You'd love it!!

(Apologies for the grainy mobile photo...will blog some decent ones when I get back!)

What’s in a name?

I work with a person here at the bank whose name is suffixed by ‘Na Ayuthaya’.

I asked one of my Thai colleagues what ‘Na Ayuthaya’ meant, suspecting it had something to do with social standing – apparently it indicates a person’s familial lineage, which is usually traced back to the royal family. There are several types of these ‘extra’ names given to those fortunately born in the right place at the right time, or who have married someone in ‘the family’.

I was trying to figure a Western cultural equivalent (such exercises help make sense of this country). All I could think of was an OBE, MBE etc.

My colleague wisely said that therein lies a wonderful illustration of the fundamental differences between the two cultures. In a general sense, where social status (think jobs, opportunity) is delivered via one’s blood lines in Eastern cultures, in Western cultures, status is earned and generally related to positions attained or money earned.

Panda PR

It's panda-monium in Northern Thailand at the moment.

The Chiang Mai Zoo has painted their elephants to look like pandas in a PR attempt to help remind Thais of the plight of the national symbol. Not sure if this is brilliant, weird, animal cruelty or all of the above.

As background, the Thai public went absolutely nuts after a rare baby panda was born in Thailand in late May this year. Since then, there's been a panda frenzy amongst the Thai public with panda pens, panda screensavers, panda mobile covers, a panda song and other assorted panda accessories on sale left right and centre!

Face

Face is a funny thing.

Back home, the word face commonly means the outer-front-side of someone’s head, some of which are quite nice to look at. In Asia, it is a misty mystifying social veil of beauty, frustration and humour.

Beauty in the sense that the concept of ‘face’ and ‘saving face’ is so culturally intricate, thus difficult to understand and at times exclusive. You just can't help but admire the social pillar.

Frustration in the sense that its unspoken language can be excruciating at times to navigate. Why hasn’t he returned my emails? Why do they have such dark tinted windows on their BMW? Why say the bus would take 4hrs, when it always takes 16?

Humour, well sometimes you just need to sit back and smile. For example, I’ve been meeting weekly about a forward sponsorship strategy with a whole bunch of the bank’s VPs and execs. Every week, this important-looking dude walks in, is wai’d profusely by those in attendance, sits in an remote part of the boardroom, doesn’t say anything, then leaves after 5-10 minutes.

Reason? All for face I reckon. It’s important to show respect in meetings by turning up in person (as opposed to just sending apologies). It’s also not necessary to contribute to a meeting if you’re not an important cog, and it’s cool to send a minion there on your behalf to report back to you. It's also cool to just leave after 5 minutes without contributing.

With all due reflection, every country and sub-culture has its own language of face. At home, you never visit someone for a meal empty-handed. Or you always remember to return a shout at the pub.

It’s quite an introspective human behavior really, fascinatingly manifested differently across every culture. The world is quite charming, isn’t it?

It would be interesting to know what variations of ‘face’ you see where you live, or what circles you hang in?? Rural, city, European, beach, work, gay, sports clubs, shopping, politics…

Thailand PR tip #1

Need to big-up a customer letter or some other ad/web copy?

Chuck something in about the royal family.

Gay Cut

There's a barber down the road called Gay Cut. I'm still not sure if they are trying to attract a niche market, or if they're insinuating that said haircut would be an exceptionally happy experience.

I went in this morning to investigate.

Its clientèle consisted of one bloke getting a pretty standard haircut, and another getting the letters 'MJ' shaved into the side of his head. No discernable evidence of sexual disposition.

After being led to the chair by a young woman sporting pink braces and tight pencil jeans, we run through the logistics of a short back and sides in Tinglish. I then settle into a Thai popstar magazine and she gets snipping.

"OK, na ka?" she asks.

I look up. Oh god.

Is that a square chunk of hair that she's just excavated off the side of my head? Yep, a number 1 job on the sides, shaped for a lover of geometric figures. I can't even go an 'MJ' now...

We worked on it somewhat, but it has still turned out to be a shocking haircut. Only another two weeks until I no longer look like a US Marine in Bangkok on R&R.

Conclusion about Gay Cut - must be named and aimed for the gay niche market.

Could you imagine a worse place to live?

Chicken salad?

There's a terrific little French place up the road from my work that makes arguably the best sandwiches in Bangkok. Good bread is hard to find in this part of the world, theirs is excellent.

Anyway, went in there today for lunch, feeling like something a little different. After sitting down, a young waiter brings across the specials board - I notice the Chicken Niçoise salad.

Not entirely sure what I'm getting myself into, I ask the waiter, "can you please tell me what's in the Chicken Niçoise salad?" To which he replied nervously, "um, chicken and salad".

I couldn't help but smile.

Good on the bloke though for having a go at another language - I'd have no hope in describing the ingredients of a complex curry paste in Thai language.

I ended up enjoying their delicious potato and leek soup, along with a selection of fresh crusty bread on the side. Reminded me of watching the Brumbies play in 1996 on a Canberra winter night - Mum used to pack a couple of thermoses full of soup, along with enough other treats to feed us until Monday.

Can not

Clare and I were mooting a possible conversation she will likely be having as she goes to her bank to try and establish an internet banking account:

“Hello, I’m wondering if I could please register here for internet banking. I have all the relevant documentation and…”

“What? You want to be able to access your bank account online? CAN NOT.”

“Why?”

“CAN NOT” *smile*

“But it says on your website…”

“CAN NOT” *smile*

“But you’re the second-largest bank in Asia, you must be able to…”

“CAN NOT” *smile*

“But I thought being a multi-continental bank, with branches across the world, you’d have the technology to…”

“CAN NOT” *smile*

“Can you give any reasons for why…”

“CAN NOT” *smile*

“…or at least point me in the right direction?”

“CAN NOT” *smile*

Cultural sensitivities (2)

A conversation with one of my heavily accented Thai colleagues as we walked back from lunch today:

Me: *Pointing to a street-side stall holder* "Wow...is that guy selling ice cream already? It's not even that hot yet."
Thai colleague (TC): "No, he is selling a type of Thai drink."
Me: Oh, right, what kind of drink?
TC: "Iced brain drinks"
Me: "Sorry??"
TC: "Iced brain drinks, like in plastic bags with straws"
Me: "Oh, right"

It wasn’t until I got back in the office that I realized she meant ‘Iced blend drinks’.

God bress Thai accents.

I am a pig

At my last job working at a PR agency in Sydney, the 85% female workplace dominated conversation with topics ranging from the greatest ever Australian Idol moments, to some bloke called Max Factor and the benefits of fake tanning over sunbeds.

It’s a little different here in Bangers - my slightly more multicultural and sexually balanced workplace discusses issues spanning the best place to buy Asian jelly dessert portions, how to avoid the ghosts of the tsunami whilst on holiday and each person’s respective Chinese Zodiac animal, according to their birth year.

Apparently, I’m a pig. No doubt my sisters will have a field day with this.

"PIG: Pigs are tolerant and generous, virtuous and peaceful. They are well liked for their honesty and warm natures. They aim to find the best in people and allow others plenty of freedom of expression. They are often imbued with the energy of wealth and the support of others though they are not concerned with accumulating wealth. They can be content with modest means. They rarely criticise others and are not vengeful and thus have few enemies. The Pig accepts the existing richness of life and doesn't demand more. They enjoy simple and earthy pleasures. In relationships they give love and affection and trust that they will receive the same. They possess considerable determination and if they set their minds on something will pursue it and attain it. Good careers are in music, food, writing, social work, gardening and looking after others."

Years: 1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007.

I do find it hard to believe all of my contemporaries from 1983 can be homogenously classed into the above category, however with the Chinese set to take over the world midway through my generation, it’s probably best not to complain.

What are you? See here.

Looking sharp

It's important to have pride in your appearance - to look sharp, if you will.

The lady who washes and irons our clothes evidently understands this importance and ensures that even my boardshorts are properly presented.

Razor-sharp creases down the middle of my boardshorts