Ready, steady...COOK! (Part 2)

Did you know that Clare and I went on Ready Steady Cook? See here for my post on it from March this year after we filmed the show.

Funny story by the way - I walked into The Hotel Hollywood a week after we were on air, after just 30secs, a random woman came up to me and asked: "Were you on Ready Steady Cook last week...with your wife???". I told her that it was mostly true, and that she's welcome for me to sign an autograph.

Without wishing to over-self promote, I do recognise that there are a fair few people abroad who missed the show. Below are a few edited sections...a few things to note:

• The host's propensity to touch me...for long......awkward...massagingly weird periods.
• My innate ability to talk absolute shit. The magic of TV.
• Clare's amazing talent for TV. She was terrific - and HOT! It was a shame her chef was so talkative...a lot of Clare didn't make the final cut.
• My sister Amelia in the crowd. A Milky Way for the first person to post where she is sitting.
• There's a little bit missing from the middle of the show...I'll try and get this up later.

And an extra special thanks must go out to Gerard - a good mate of mine who kindly recorded and rendered the show for Clare and I. Thanks mate - I owe you a rum.


Introducing Clare & Steve

The winning dish




Gerard's smokey flavour remix

Ready, steady...COOK!

Superstars of TV.

If you've been living in a bloody vacuum of late, you wouldn't have known that Clare & I ventured onto the set of channel 10's Ready Steady Cook. You also wouldn't have known that this is all part of my 2007 Man Plan to appear on every Australian commercial TV station by year's end.

Clare was paired up with George Calombaris and I with Jared Ingersoll. We had to go in the previous day to observe basic proceedings - obviously a protocol to ensure that people have a rough idea of what actually goes on behind the scenes so they don't freak out by all of the booms, cameras et al around the place.

The preview was marked by several notable occurrences:

• A troupe of boisterous ladies, kitted out in their red hats and mauve dresses. An extremely vocal bunch resembling a group of schoolgirls, the Red Backs Chapter of the Australian Red Hats Society (I can't believe I found them online) made the day most memorable. They may also have scared the shit out of the producers.
• The massive American lady wearing a mu-mu who, when thrown a Mars Bar by the audience warm-up guy, struggled to bend over and pick up said Mars Bar due to her extended girth. I think she gave up after about 8 minutes.
• Aforementioned fat mu-mu wearing lady, hungry students, and tight-ass pensioners rushing for the free cordial and biscuits prior to the show.
• The outspoken bogan transvestite in front of us who argued with another woman in front of her as to the language of 'baby'. That is, what kind of sound a baby makes when it is hungry, uncomfortable etc.

We came in the next day, filmed the show and won some fabulous prizes - Clare a blender and me 6 bottles of wine. Glad I got the wine. I love the magic of TV - we had to do 4 takes of us 'being surprised/thrilled' by the prizes we were awarded, as the host kept stumbling over his autocue. Other thrills, spills and chills included:

• Me throwing meringue all over the kitchen with the electric beaters
• Nearly putting a handful of coriander in a pot when my chef asked for parsley
• Plugging my Nan and Mum on national TV
• Falsifying my excitement about a particular dish which featured brown lentils, just for the punters at home (and the chef with a knife in his hand)
• Clare's natural talent for TV - she was amazingly relaxed and came across really well
• Getting our makeup done with Nat-ar-sha Belling, who's apparently a massive fan of the blog

Not too sure as yet when the episode will go to air - they said they'd give us about a week's notice. In the meantime, is there ANYONE out there with some sort of digital recording equipment that I could arrange to tape it. Or does anyone know of anyone who may have access? Please post a comment, email, or call me. I'll cut up the good bits and post it on here.

You'll have to wait and see what we made when the episode goes to air...

Thanks especially to my little sister Amelia who came to watch us on the day.

Clare won

It's all about setting goals

Don't worry, not another rant about being organised...

One of my 2007 goals is to appear on every Australian commercial television station by year end. Sure, sounds easy, but how the bloody hell can I make it onto SBS. I'm not ethnic.

Maybe I should start a fight at the soccer somewhere or something. Anyone got any spare flares??

Plans

On Tuesday of this week, Karla, Tim M and [insert person here - Edwina can't make it anymore] will be joining me at some random restaurant in Wooloomooloo as part of one of Channel Seven's new reality TV shows. It's a rip-off of some UK show which featured Gordon Ramsey.

Basically, three amateur chefs are grouped by profession - from hairdressers and surf lifesavers to surgeons and sports stars - to be guided by Aria's Matt Moran as they prepare a three-course meal for 50 hungry customers. And no, I'm not cooking. I'm eating...now, just to get myself on TV. Maybe some obscene comments perhaps?

Other plans include a trip to the ABC studios in about a week to take part in the filming of the first episode of a new show, Difference of Opinion hosted by Geoff McMullen; and a trip (if Clare can make herself available!) to the Channel Ten studios to be a contestant on Ready Steady Cook.

Look out free TV...