Anatomy of a proposal - The Irishman

Thursday, 5 November
Gate 47, Suvarnabhumi Airport, Bangkok

I'm at the airport 3.5 hours before my flight. Nothing’s going to stop me from boarding.

“I’ve been travelling for 19 hours, like. No, well, now it’s really about 23, like. If you count the drive from my coosin’s farm in Derry to the airport. And then there’s the waiting time, like. Yes, the waiting time. Heathrow, like. The English. They just think everyone’s out there to get them. Took me so long to get through security. Lucky I met this Canadian fellow. We had a few, like. He’d been travelling in Venice or somewhere. Or was it Belgium?”

This bloke’s definitely had a few whiskeys.

“I work for Royal Mail. It’s not really want I want to do with my life, you see. Except my father works there. And his father worked there.”

My god. Who is this tornadic Irishman?

“I sort mail, like. It’s not that glamourous, but a man’s got to have a job, like. Do you have a job?”

“Well, yes, I work here in Bangk…”

“Ireland’s full of unemployment at the moment, like. Did you know that? Lucky I’m going to Australia. I hear the girls in Australia love Irishmen. Is it true? Do girls in Australia love an Irishman, like?”

“I’m not sure, I suppose anything different can be exciting sometimes.”

“I hear all they want to do is party and do the dirty. Ha ha ha. You know. Ha ha ha. The dirty. Ha ha ha.”

“Um, maybe some.”

“It’s going to be great. I still don’t know if I’ll go back to Ireland though. There’s not a lot tying me there, like. Either way, I’ll be staying in Australia for three weeks.”

“So where do you plan to spend your three weeks?”

“I hear the Golden Coast is a great place to spend time. I might stay there for 2.5 weeks, then maybe drive to Sydney, have a look at the sights, then drive back.”

“It’s a long way, could take some time, have you considered flying?”

“Nooo, my coosin said it’s not too far. I should be OK to do it in a couple of days. He has a van. You know I’ve got a kid. Real good looking, like”

“A kid? How old?” I'm thinking now this bloke is a nutter.

“Three weeks”

“Oh, quite young”

“Yeah, beautiful little boy. Small, like. I gave his moom 500 Euro before I left. Might send some more across if I can.”

“You’re not planning to head back to look after him?”

“Oh, no, he’ll be fine. His mother is very independent, like. Great woman. Is it hot in Australia at the moment? It’s so cold in Ireland. Can you buy shorts in Australia?”

Attention ladies and gentlemen, please proceed up the escalators for an additional security check…

The people you meet while travelling.

Only 2 hours until boarding. Time to go and inspect the bookshop.