Tuesday, December 26, 2006

So this is Christmas...

Ho ho ho - and I'm not talking about Paris Hilton.

I came up home to Mum and Dad's at Coffs to celebrate Christmas. In my family, Christmas isn't a time for giving. Hell no. It's a time for consuming. That is, enough seafood, fruit, meat, vegetables and piss to sink a small 16th century Chinese sea-trade vessel.

The day started for me at around 6:30am, preparing the ingredients for a prawn dish I was responsible for at lunch time.

Cass had been bouncing off the walls since 3am and Meils struggled with the concept of daylight, being dragged out of bed at a very un rock 'n roll hour of 8am (see pic below).

Absolute corker of a day - blue skies, beautiful Aussie weather. After opening our gifts, we went down to Woolgoolga Beach in the morning for a swim. We then came back to the homestead, prepared a beautiful brunch, sat on the couch, hit the piss again during the 5 o'clock happy hour with pina coladas, then enjoyed another smashing meal prepared by my gorgeous mother and two voracious sisters.

All in all, a ripper of a day. But back to the pressies - I received:

  • A white shirt with textured pink squares with french cuffs
  • A new pair of boardshorts, dress shorts and belt
  • Frisbee
  • A few puzzles and intellectual paraphernalia
  • A moose that shits jelly beans
  • A new white bonds wife-beater
  • Wine and bar goods
  • Kitchen items.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Story of my life.

Sunday, December 17, 2006


Sixteen, one-six. Legal age for boys and girls, sixteen...

Sixty-nine, six-nine. Dinner for two, sixty-nine...

Eighty-eight, eight-eight. Two fat ladies - it's lonely in the sidecar...

Clare, Amelia, Karla, Clare's mate Whitey, Chris, Malin, Millgate, myself and some random Canadian guy looking for boy-love went to Bingay at the Imperial Hotel on Tuesday.

For those uninitiated, it's basically regular bingo run by Mitzi MacIntosh, one of Australia's favourite drag queens and her sidekick dyke, Naomi. Once your numbers are all called out, you have to yell 'BINGAY!!'. If you call 'Bing-O', you have to wear a penis-hat. Quite simple, really.

The best thing about it is that all prizes are donated and money raised from the games goes to the AIDS Council of NSW.

So anyway, we went to Bingay, had a fabulous time, darling, and won a few things along the way. Millgate won a topless garden gnome, some condoms, chocolate and some tickets to Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Karla won a Natio beauty gift pack and Clare won a meat tray and a copy of Mission Impossible III on DVD. Yes, that's right, a meat tray. Eight lamb chops, six thick snags, two slabs of rump steak and a mutton leg.

Let me entertain you...

Clare and I went to see Robbie Williams last Sunday evening. Here's a few pics:

At the pub prior. Did you know I once turned down an offer as one of Robbie's backup dancers?

Robbie in full flight.

Clare enjoys seeing Robbie doing shots on stage.

Sunday, December 10, 2006


After 2599 days of strenuous study (just over seven years), I was officially awarded my Provisional P1 NSW Driver's Licence! In that time, I've been the proud owner of 4 sets of L's.

I would have some photos of me getting my licence for the blog, however the staff at North Ryde RTA didn't appreciate photography "of any kind" (is there any other?) to be taken. Lucky the NSW government doesn't equip them with batons, otherwise my mate Dave and I would have been taken into a padded room and beaten senseless.

And thanks to all of the people who have provided me with rides over the past few years - I think it's now time to give back.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Bad oral incident

Why have I been up since 3:30am on a school night? Because my back right bottom molar is inflamed like a mo-fo and currently feels like North Korea is using the area as part of their nuclear testing regime.

The bonus is that I've already read today's stories on SMH online.

I'm going to see a dentist tomorrow.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Booty-shak'n roadtrip

The trip back from the engagement party was a bit subdued - it seemed the night's festivities were quite taxing on the girls' REM cycles. Karla and Dani may have also been suffering from the effects of late night hypothermia.

So beyond talking cricket and how amazing our mos were looking toward the end of the month, Willis & I decided we'd get some booty shak'n happening, just to keep the roadtrip back to Old Sydney Town kicking along.

He taught Beyonce everything she knows...

Here comes the bride...

Nice outfits - scared the shit out of us.

Congrats to Penny and her soon-to-be husband Josh.

The crew went for a bit of a road trip up to Newcastle to celebrate the lovers' engagement. The party was a great opportunity to meet some more of Josh's mates, eat chops stacked 3-high on platters as big as Newy surfboards and of course, get pissy with the Batho kids. Here's a few photos (there may or may not be some more colourful ones on another site - for those in the know, they're hot. Thanks to Tim M.):

Karla and Dani getting ready. They'd make a fabulous pair of Charlie's Angels.

Crare and Ezre.

That's what mates are for. I had a bit of lamb chop stuck in my beard. Check out our mos.

Penny & I...

Sunday, November 19, 2006

China town

Amelia and I took my cousin Janelle (far right) and her friend Amy to China Town for Yum Cha on Saturday. The perennial salt & pepper squid and prawn gow gees went down an absolute treat. And the steamed dim sims - wow.

Then it got weird.

We went to get an icecream - I felt like a juice. The Cold Rock Icecreamery really looks after those looking for a sweet bit of juicy goodness. You even get FREE boosts - Energy (with wheat grass), Fibre, Immunity, Protein and my favourite...Brain.

Yep, nothing like a bit of offal to give your juice that extra little kick.

Monday, November 13, 2006

She's off and racing

That's right folks, my good uni friend Beth has decided to head overseas in search of adventure, a bloody great big frost, and a hot Canadian to teach her how to snowboard (or something).

So we (Beth, Posty, Millgate, Ezre, Kelly, Karla, Bonnie, Digi, Crump, Deako and a heap of Beth's other mates and family) went to the races to farewell the filly, enjoying a glorious Saturday in the sun. We also went to Bondi the next day, but I was too tired from the previous night's festivities to lift a camera.

Check out my mo. Hot.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Mo, it's not a possum above my lip

So I'm growing a filthy 'tache (or at least manicuring a few sporadic hairs) for 'Movember'. Why? Because I'm passionate about changing the state of men's health (and love Tom Selleck).

Did you know:

  1. Every year in Australia 2,700 men die of prostate cancer - more than the number of women who die from breast cancer.
  2. Men are far less healthy than women. The average life expectancy of males is 6 years less than females.
  3. Depression affects 1 in 6 men. Most don't seek help.

You can help me change the face of men's health by sponsoring my mo here. A few other boys are doing it also:
  • Tim 'The mexican pool cleaner' Willis...click here.
  • Dave 'Sells his excess facial hair to China to make merkins' Halter...click here to sponsor.
  • Jonnie 'I can hide a pie in there for later' Hoy...click here to sponsor.

All donations over $2 are tax deductible, and you can do it securely with a credit card online. The money raised by Movember will be donated to charities Beyond Blue and the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia. You can also check out the Movember website at http://www.movember.com.au/.

To remind you of some of history's greatest mo's, below are some tasty photos:

Thanks in advance for supporting two fabulous causes!!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

La Fiesta de Steve (part 3)

So I stopped drinking at an early 1:30am on Sunday morning. Dave stayed over and broke the futon again by the way. I arose at 7:30am (five hours sleep, taking into account daylight savings) still feeling the effects of a few too many Scharer's/Coronas/
Jaegerbombs/Vodka-Redbulls/30 year-old rum/Dodgy midnight pizza slices.

How about a 22km birthday walk around the Sydney Harbour foreshore??

So Clare & I got dressed, bundled ourselves into the car and raced off to meet Boz ready for the Seven Bridges Walk. We registered near Star City casino. Thank Christ they had free bottled water. So we started our walk, got lost before we hit our first bloody bridge, eventually making it onto the Anzac - what a marvel of modern engineering. Too bad it made me feel like vomiting on myself.

It took us 5.5 hours, walking a clockwise loop from Pymont to Balmain, along Victoria Rd to Hunter's Hill, through the back of Riverview, winding our way through Lane Cove National Park, into Waverton and through to Kiribilli, across the Harbour Bridge and back to the car near Pyrmont. We walked over the Pyrmont, Anzac, Iron Cove, Gladesville, Tarban Creek, Figtree and Harbour Bridges.

Sweet, holy mother of Jesus. What a mission. But so worth it - what a way to bring in my 23rd year!!!!

La Fiesta de Steve (part 2)

On Saturday, Willis & I had a BBQ. We played cricket, ate and were indeed quite merry.

After the sun went down, we went back to The Doghouse, kept drinking, played some tunes and donned our fire retardent clothing. Then we went to The Firehouse Hotel, drank some more, ate some more and rode the merriment well into the night.

Everyone who came
Two 23 year-old firemen
Dave's Damien Martyn impression
Clare and her white chocolate mud cake with slime icing
The splendid weather - thanks Mike Bailey
Dave Wright's keg donation - Scharer's Lager...as sweet as the sun shine reflecting off Jesus' own ass. And just as tasty. Thanks mate.

The ice
The Firehouse Hotel's strict policy of being absolute wankers

Slightly lukewarm
The St Leonards Park public BBQ's

La Fiesta de Steve (part 1)

Did you know it was my birthday last week? A bloody fantastic time indeed.

On Friday morning Willis cooked me a breakfast fit for a Romanian prince. I believe he got up at about 5:30 to start cracking the eggs. What a delectable treat...

I tried to sell World Psoriasis Day to national print and broadcast media at work later that day, with mixed success. Apparently the chronic loss of skin just isn't sexy enough for Mornings with Kerri-Anne.

I also had the pleasure of coming home later that night to Clare and:

  1. A ready-chilled glass of my favourite beer, Coopers Pale Ale
  2. A beautiful fettucine with calamari and prawns in a creamy lemon and garlic sauce.

It wasn't all about food though...the day was interspersed with much appreciated messages and phonecalls from family and mates.

Oh, and by the way, it was Willis' birthday the following Monday if you didn't know. We're so hot that the Morning Crew from Wollongong's i98FM felt compelled to tell their 100,400 listeners that it was our birthdays. Listen here. (Thanks Beth...)

A fabulous prelude to La Fiesta de Steve...


Hello team. Welcome to my blog - arguably my greatest ever.

As of July 2006, Technorati reports that about 175,000 new blogs were being created each day, contributing to a global pool of blogs in excess of 50 million. That translates to just over two new blogs a second. Yeah - holy shitballs.

So in my mind, it highlights two things:

  1. Perspective: My little online journal is merely a drop in the Blogosphere Ocean.
  2. Infestation of geeks: There are hell of a lot of like-minded gleebens out there in the world.

In a world that's only beginning to bloom some fantastic communicative opportunities, I hope Hotel Bell ends up being a ripper of a window into my life for my mates, family and associated randoms. I welcome your comments, feedback and slander.