Surfing superstars

On the world's largest suspension bridge...

Clare and I had exhausted the natural tourism of KL, so we decided to go for somewhere a little more manufactured - Sunway Lagoon, reportedly the world's largest water park. It may have also been the world's largest collection of seedy Indian men leering at Clare and other women in their swimming costumes...

To get to Sunway, you need to catch a 25min cab out of town to this gigantuous shopping mall in the middle of nowhere.

Seriously, this place was massive. If there was ever a hell for a man being dragged by his girlfriend around the shops, this would be it. It's like a spiraled maze of fiery commercial torment.

Inside the shopping estate is the other bastion of devilish commerce and trade - Sunway Lagoon Theme park.

The main attraction of Sunway Lagoon for Clare and I was their man-made surf wave.

I was all limbered up and excited that morning, knowing that many of the sub-continental tourists we were to share the park with could barely swim, let alone surf. It was going to be a great day - we had a good chance of getting a nice long, unique surfing experience.

Oh, but one problem, the wave pool was closed to the public.

Shut the gates, put your cossies away, don't bother buying the wax...bloody closed....

Cerrado...被关闭...Chiuso...закрытый...閉じられます...

I was nonetheless pretty disappointed.

Clare had heard that there was a surfing demonstration on at noon, so we thought we'd go for a bit of a look anyway.

When we got there, we saw four lifeguards, of varying abilities on the board surfing for a gaggle of TV cameras, positioned across various parts of the lagoon.

TV3 Malaysia had set up shop for a live outside broadcast to the nation - similar to a 'Great Outdoors' style of broadcast.

Clare and I cheekily asked if we could have a surf, not thinking they'd say yes...until the producer gave the OK!!!! Yeah!

So we ended up getting the surf AND being the featured surfers on a live Malaysian national lifestyle program. Better give Quiksilver a call to arrange some sponsorship...

To be honest, that was probably the highlight of the day...the rest of the park was pretty lame, but there were many kids and women in their full hijab seeming to have fun on the slides.

This is a picture of the lagoon from the suspension bridge...note the massive hotels and shopping centre in the background.

Clare flying high on a hydraulic raptor ride.

Where dreams are made...and then regurgitated

On day 2 of our little trip, Clare and I joined a few of her old mates from Lismore and visited Queensland's most dated theme park, Dreamworld.


The rides

Clare (right of centre) on The Claw. I declined a second invitation, as I was close to vomiting the first time.

The Claw fact: The 27 metre-high ride swings 240^o vertically, rotates 360^o horizontally, and travels at a gut-wrenching 75km/hr.

The Wipeout was gnarly, dude. Totally tubular. I'm sitting below the 'P' and Clare below the 'O'.

The Wipeout fact: The ride opened 14 years ago, costing $6 million.

Definitely my favourite of all the rides on the day (I'm a pansy), the Log Ride was a very wet affair. For those overseas, note the very Australian gum tree backdrop.

Log Ride fact: Riders scream down the shoot at over 50km/hr!

Incidentally, the last time I was at Dreamworld was when the Tower of Terror opened - 24 January, 1997. The ride was fantastic, but I think they need to do a bit of work around the edges...it's all looking a little shabby in the pre-ride theming.

Tower of Terror fact: Costing $16 million to build, the TOT accelerates to over 160km/hr in seven seconds and pulls 4.5G's.

We also went on the Cyclone and the Giant Drop. I nearly shat myself on the Giant Drop - check this link out for a Quicktime video demonstrating the height and speed of the ride. Below is also a video from YouTube which demonstrates the innate personal experience.

The animals

CRIKEY! Look at this little beauty!! The photo doesn't do it justice, but the croc pictured is bloody massive, with a body bigger than a horse and longer than a Datson 180B.



I reckon if I was locked up in Dreamworld for life, I'd probably lose all of my inhibitions as well.


The verdict

A fun day. Advice for those thinking of going:

Take a picnic...go in the summer when school's in to take advantage of the water slides...try not to wonder if the maintenance of the rides is given the same importance of the general cleanliness of the park...go on the log ride, three times.

Goats & Carnies: The 2007 Royal Sydney Easter Show

Clare & I ventured for a day to the Easter Show on Good Friday last week.

Mum and Dad are involved in the horticultural side of the Royal Sydney Easter Show, with Mum helping out with the judging of all things floral and Dad helping with the strategic direction of the NSW Royal Agricultural Society (specifically the horticultural section) through his role as a councillor. What does this mean? Free tickets into the show...woo!

I wore yellow so Clare could spot me in the crowd.

Here's a few pictures from the Southee (Horticultural) pavilion:

This is a goat.

Carni-ville. Scary - and I'm not referring to the rides. I was surround thousands of people who may as well have been wearing "I heart Naomi Robson" t-shirts.

Council dining room

Clare & I joined Mum & Dad in the Council dining room for lunch. It's kind of like the Royal Prince Edward Yacht Club, just without boats. And water. And it's in Homebush. Either way, I was particularly taken by the pictures of (now deceased) animals on the walls, from fluffy the cat through to a shiny chicken and an emaciated dog.

Check out this guy's chops. Yee ha!

Wow. The owner of this vehicle is standing in the top left of the picture. I take it she likes her bourbon. And pig hunting.

Always one to help the rural community out, I spent a while making horse shoes for miniature ponies.

I think people may have taken this sign a little too literally last year.

I found out that Jaynie Seal does not enjoy the company of alpacas, especially when they're biting her during a live weather cross.

Teaching kids about the different cuts of lamb with a couple of hanging carcasses.

This goat has been genetically modified, as part of the Federal Government's 'Goats To Iraq' scheme. Apparently they're a little skint on volunteers, so have enlisted the help of a few Nubian goats with ready-grown camouflage.

On the subject of our caprine friends, below is a bit of audio I captured of a couple of goats having a heated argument over the ethical implications of the changes to Australia's media laws.

This year's show was an absolute 'spin out'.