Ups, downs and a desk-full of vomit

Wow. What a week at work.

From a professional point of view, it's been an absolute rollercoaster ride. And everyone knows that it's not really a decent rollercoaster ride unless you've vomitted.

But when I say vomit, I don't mean gastric juices sprayed all about my near vicinity in all of their yellow, carroty glory, I mean worrying about what the bloody hell I'm going to do with my life, and how I can best synthesise my professional and personal lives.

Monday saw me come into work pumped. I'd had an excellent weekend watching five games of rugby, one game or ice hockey and a World Cup cricket final. I had achieved sleep nirvana over the weekend, managing a snooze total of about 30-odd hours and was ready to tackle any PR challenge that smacked me in the face.

Tuesday, I had my performance and salary review. On paper, a positive. I got a solid raise, was recognised for some good work I have done over the past 12 months, and was honest with my manager about my plans for the future. We spent a good two hours analysing my professional strengths and weaknesses, however the weaknesses seemed to dominate - I'm still not sure if my manager's objective was to give me a motivational kick up the ass, or whether it was just a more convenient forum to raise the things which could be worked on. And I still don't know where the hell my organisation sees me in a year. Am I just another intellectual vehicle for profit?

Wednesday, I wallowed in a state of confusion, but managed to attend a meet up of some extremely inspirational new media professionals (I will blog about these guys later in the week). I also got some solid feedback about a media release I wrote for a new large client - perhaps I belong in PR after all?

Thursday - Still confused, still unsure...and a little bit tired from a late night with said bunch of similarly-minded new media geeks. I got some terrific feedback from a few journo's who really dug a hay fever story angle I have been trying to sell in for about a month. Also had a beautiful Singaporean dinner in Cremorne with my gorgeous girlfriend and discussed all things futuristic.

Friday - Made some terrific strategic progress on one of my consumer-health clients - got the green light for a really exciting medical media campaign which will blow the socks off a bunch of trade media. Still wondering whether PR is for me, thinking that sometimes the job is more about convincing the client of your worth than it is about doing some solid public education on their behalf. Then, the stickler. We had our monthly staff meeting, where I was awarded the staff member of the month!

Where does this leave me? Well...still in a state of confusion. Maybe with the award I've reached the beginning of some sort of professional recognition for the extra day a week (in terms of hours) I put into this company. Maybe things will turn around from "he can do this, I can delegate to him", to "he can do this, but he's really stretched - lets get another person on board." Maybe this is just consultancy, I should grow the bloody hell up, and cop it on the chin.

It's just that I'm consistently doing some really good work, my chin is starting to swell up and I need some sort of anti-inflammatory to stunt the swelling. Only time will tell. I'm definitely going to stay, especially considering the unbelievable talent and wonderful personalities that surround me on a daily basis.

However, the next six months will be a real litmus test.