And also in the news...

Who's the particular blonde-haired young lass who ventured over to Western Australian on yet another PR junket, only to leave the place in a cyclonic mess???

See here.

It's official

Millgate - your gaydar is well and truly honed. Tony Callea has just come out...

A loose nut, but thankfully the wheels stay on

Well, it's been a festive few Saturday nights out of late. Instead of spruiking multiple posts of me essentially getting pissed and acting like an idiot, I thought I throw it all into the one drunken melting pot.

Millgate's housewarming

Elton John even made an appearance at Millgate's housewarming.

What a host! I arrived at a very flash Marrickville home to be greeted by a smiling Mr Millgate with a 100-pack of spring rolls and glass of sparkling in hand. A bevvy of fantastic people there on the night, I got to meet the rest of the housemates, a few random mates of Tim's, and of course - the gorgeous CSU crowd.

I indulged in 4 long necks of Coopers Pale Ale and about 40 spring rolls. I made my exit just before the crowd moved onto a few gay bars - as much of a confidence boosting exercise it could have been, I had another engagement for the evening to attend to...

Pillaging & plundering with Traill et al

Wow. What a party. Seriously up there with some of the loosest I've experienced. Made me miss Bathurst.

Traill decided to co-host a party with a few mates at a three-tiered terrace in Glebe. Theme: Viking.

• Three levels
• Two DJ's
• Live band
• Suckling pig on the spit (I only caught the carcass-end of this particular facet, so have decided not to post photos of it on the blog for fear of offending an animal liberationist swine-lover something...)
• Fur, leather, swords and other 10th century Scandinavian paraphernalia
• A room titled 'the dutch oven' with projected movie about a midget motorcyclist named Little Wang Wang

A picture of Traill consuming the blood of a virgin calf from a jewelled war helmet. Or maybe it's some Absolut Citron and lemonade.

At about 1am, a couple of polite gentlemen dressed in blue decided to quieten the festivities down somewhat, so Lloyd, Morgs and I headed to the city to continue our discussions into the finer points of politically-motivated environmental rhetoric leading into the 2007 NSW state election.

For some reason, we struggled to get in anywhere - perhaps it was the viking helmets sitting proudly on our heads, combined with our glistening swords and shields? It would be a different story if there were a pack of unruly Saxons wreaking havoc inside...

Morgs successfully deflecting a strike from one of the bouncers metal-detectors.

We ended up getting into the Shark Bar, agreeing to leave our weapons at the door. It was fun.

Footy, mates and other shenanigans!

Willis managed to get some free tickets to the Waratahs for Halter, his bro Andy and myself. I thought it would be rude not to go.

But on one condition - I'm not drinking. "OK", I thought, "I'll take this thermos and drink hot beverages instead of schooners at the footy". Top idea - and it lasted, until I hit Paddo RSL after the match and felt like a cheeky scotch.

The Waratahs sucked that night - losing to the Stormers 16-10.

After a few extra scotches at the Paddo, we wandered down to Fringe Bar. Did you know it was St Patrick's Day that day also?

Check out:

• My thermos. Thanks mum.
• The guy's vacant arm. Obviously he was escorting some young lady, who managed to slip out of his outstretched grasp after he passed out.
• The drool patch on this dude's shirt.

So here's a few pictures from the night:

This is an arty picture of the inside of Fringe Bar, taken with a long exposure. I really like the ripples from the disco balls - kind of 'liquifies' the light.

Willis crumping, Dave wondering what he's doing out with these two fools, me shocked at an ever-receding hairline.

I met Jules there - we danced for about 2 hours...awesome!!! However, my upper left trapezius may have cramped awkwardly, just as I was in the middle of a lifting movement with her.

This is a picture of the half-cow's ass we slapped on the BBQ for breakfast when we got home.

Word!

I got this emailed to me the other day:

A Bridge, a Willis and the fall of a Dynasty

Cool fact: The bridge is 49m wide and sits 49m above the water.

It's an emotional moment, really. This post is really dedicated to all of those currently living abroad.

Today is the 75th birthday of the Sydney Harbour Bridge opening. It was a bit of a huge deal here in Sydney over the weekend with billions (that's right, billions) of people walking across the bridge on Sunday to bask in the single-arched glory of our national icon.

I had a bit of a go the previous night with a few mates (stay tuned for a post on that one soon) so decided my time would be better spent on the Sunday afternoon sitting on the couch in my underwear watching sport, eating twisties and rehydrating.

But today isn't all about the Bridge. Hell no. A very happy 52nd birthday to one of my favourite actors Bruce Willis. I still can't believe he didn't win an Oscar for being the voice of baby 'Mikey' in that classic, Look Who's Talking.

And also, for the Chinese history buffs out there, today marks the 728th year anniversary of the end of the Song Dynasty in China, after the Mongols kicked some ass in the Battle of Mount Ya.

Ready, steady...COOK!

Superstars of TV.

If you've been living in a bloody vacuum of late, you wouldn't have known that Clare & I ventured onto the set of channel 10's Ready Steady Cook. You also wouldn't have known that this is all part of my 2007 Man Plan to appear on every Australian commercial TV station by year's end.

Clare was paired up with George Calombaris and I with Jared Ingersoll. We had to go in the previous day to observe basic proceedings - obviously a protocol to ensure that people have a rough idea of what actually goes on behind the scenes so they don't freak out by all of the booms, cameras et al around the place.

The preview was marked by several notable occurrences:

• A troupe of boisterous ladies, kitted out in their red hats and mauve dresses. An extremely vocal bunch resembling a group of schoolgirls, the Red Backs Chapter of the Australian Red Hats Society (I can't believe I found them online) made the day most memorable. They may also have scared the shit out of the producers.
• The massive American lady wearing a mu-mu who, when thrown a Mars Bar by the audience warm-up guy, struggled to bend over and pick up said Mars Bar due to her extended girth. I think she gave up after about 8 minutes.
• Aforementioned fat mu-mu wearing lady, hungry students, and tight-ass pensioners rushing for the free cordial and biscuits prior to the show.
• The outspoken bogan transvestite in front of us who argued with another woman in front of her as to the language of 'baby'. That is, what kind of sound a baby makes when it is hungry, uncomfortable etc.

We came in the next day, filmed the show and won some fabulous prizes - Clare a blender and me 6 bottles of wine. Glad I got the wine. I love the magic of TV - we had to do 4 takes of us 'being surprised/thrilled' by the prizes we were awarded, as the host kept stumbling over his autocue. Other thrills, spills and chills included:

• Me throwing meringue all over the kitchen with the electric beaters
• Nearly putting a handful of coriander in a pot when my chef asked for parsley
• Plugging my Nan and Mum on national TV
• Falsifying my excitement about a particular dish which featured brown lentils, just for the punters at home (and the chef with a knife in his hand)
• Clare's natural talent for TV - she was amazingly relaxed and came across really well
• Getting our makeup done with Nat-ar-sha Belling, who's apparently a massive fan of the blog

Not too sure as yet when the episode will go to air - they said they'd give us about a week's notice. In the meantime, is there ANYONE out there with some sort of digital recording equipment that I could arrange to tape it. Or does anyone know of anyone who may have access? Please post a comment, email, or call me. I'll cut up the good bits and post it on here.

You'll have to wait and see what we made when the episode goes to air...

Thanks especially to my little sister Amelia who came to watch us on the day.

Clare won

Story of my life 2

Another example of the pickles I seem to get myself into occasionally...

Paff gleens with Mr. Bean

So between marching in the 2007 Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras, travelling to Singapore for some PR junket, and being a general all-round hottie, Paff was recently the face of Australian surf life saving, with an appearance alongside 'Mr. Bean' at Bondi Beach.

See below:



Go Paff!!!

MARDI GRAS!!!

Karla & Tim - a swirl of excitement as Mardi Gras reaches full swing. Watch out for the shark guys.

Well, it's a bit of a gay-a-thon tonight, after my little post about Anthony Callea below. Two of the best - Karla and Millgate - marched in this year's Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras. They danced and wooed the crowds as part of the inaugural Surf Life Saving float - an absolute hit with the crowd!

However, there is a school of thought that the zeal shown by the crowd may have been directly proportional to the lack of clothing worn by some of the male patrons of the parade. Either way, great show!

My highlights:

• Being proud as punch, seeing Millgate in his first ever Mardi Gras. Respect!
• Seeing so many happy people buzz by my eyes for over 2.5 hours.
• For one night of the year, where the collective voice of hundreds of thousands of people drowned out the homophobic bullshit that resonates too often in this country.
• As a bloke, there is nothing more satisfying than coming home and sitting on the couch in your underwear. I can't imagine what it would be like to be wandering up Oxford street, dancing and carrying on like an idiot in nothing but - your underwear.

Check out the SLS group blog here for even more photos and descriptions of the lead up to the event.

Other random observations

The night started with Clare & I jumping off the bus at Wynyard Station to be confronted by an astounding array of side-shows - each peeling back a new layer of incredulity for a night still amazingly so young. In chronological order:

• A group of 16 year old young ladies (and I say that with quiet reservations) dressed in french knickers at Wynyard, drinking UDL's. Knickers. UDLs. Seriously, nothing but their polyester undies, garters and PVC boots. Britany Spears has a lot to answer for - they can vote in about 2 years.
• More 16 year olds guzzling goon in Wynyard Park. This, I'm not too worried about. At least they had their clothes on. And it was goon! Oh, the good old days...
• Even more 16 year olds carrying cases of beer down Elizabeth St toward the night's glittered festival-like carnage of Darlinghurst.
• The chick on an acid trip standing in the front window of Sax's House of Leather on Oxford St, flashing her tits at the hoards of pedestrians walking by.
• The corresponding excitement for many of the men in the crowd as the Dykes on Bikes roared into full view.
• The bogan young men, who, after the conclusion of such a wonderful celebration of love and sexuality, still persisted with homophobic comments directed toward a gay couple - would love to see some of the more built members of the parade give them a bit of a dust up for their trouble.

The floats

Below are a few photos of some of my favourite floats from this year's parade.

Poignant...

Blokes on a float, some dressed up a women, some dressed up in...well...not much at all. Crowd favourite - check out our position...right in front of the Columbian.

Hopefully these Trojans don't embed nasty viruses inside of you.
(That's an IT joke for Willis)

No idea what float this one is, but it's a pretty cool crowd shot with some great colours. I'm up in a tree for this pic. Great angles - check out the leaves. And the guy out the front left with the gargantuan arms.

Again, no idea who these guys are, but they were well-rehearsed, got some great reactions from the crowd, and wowed Clare with their oiled chests.

Scenes of the crowd after the parade. Party time.

People

A wide range of people at this year's event. Here's a small selection:

Obviously animal rights didn't get much of a look-in on the night.

This guy wasn't wearing any pants. I don't know why.

Clare and I trying to find a place to watch the parade. Why wasn't I born a 7'8" monster? Or maybe I should have worn a mega pair of wedges. We ended up buying and standing on a couple of stools similar to the green ones featuring in the photo with Clare.

This chick was definitely on the wrong side of the fence. She should have been on a motorised stage, headed east on Oxford Street dancing to George Michael.

Why do it?

Well, with one short of thirty notches to have been marked on the Mardi Gras belt over the years, the Mardi Gras represents to me a time when people can come together to celebrate the universal, undiscriminating and pink-strobed voltage of love. Whilst it's something most definitely in need of immediate support, I hope the need to protest for equal gay rights eventually dissolves as we move toward an unseen level of equality and national acceptance.

Well done to all participants, especially my two favourite life savers!!!!

Freedom is walking down one of Sydney's main streets in your grundles.

UPDATE!! Was the F-Word appropriate?

Somewhere, hidden in this closet of mystery, is Anthony Callea. *MIX106.5's* Vic Lorusso has seemed to have opened the doors, but will our friend Anthony emerge from this mini-mess?

Thanks to Millgate who has notifed me that Anthony Callea is in fact a man of men's persuasion...if you know what I mean.

If you don't know what I mean - he's gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay. Vic Lorusso just doesn't lie.

So, further to my earlier post about our time spent one evening on the set of the 'F-Word', it may actually be possible that those sultry Dubbo-bred eyes were in fact arousing the very man who has serenaded Australia with hits including 'Live to love' (I'm sure he does) and 'Addicted to you' (Which I'm sure he will be, after another meeting with the Magestic Male Model, Mr. Millgate).

The only thing left to do now is a bit of a match-making session. Anyone got his agent's number?

Click here for a full report from news.com.au.

A sense of community

What a bloody fantastic country this is. Whether you're an enthusiast of aeoroplanes, axes, communism, coffee or a deaf lesbian - there something for everybody in this great land.

I've recently done an audit of Australian associations of relevance for one of my clients at work. Here's a selection of other associations, clubs, societies and guilds I found on the way which are open for your membership TODAY! (Current membership numbers included in brackets)

• Australian Society of Association Executives - National Office (600)
• Australian Acoustical Society (420)
• Victorian Showmens Guild (340)
• Australian Institute of Refrigeration, Air Conditioning and Heating Inc. (N/A)
• Austrek The Star Trek Fan Club Inc. (550)
• Architectural Aluminium Fabricators Association of Western Australia (21)
• National Amusement Machine Operators Association Ltd (N/A)
• Australian Asphalt Pavement Association (90)
• Federation of Australian Astrologers Inc. (1000)
• Australian Little Athletics (95000!)
• Progressive Axemen's Association of Western Australia Inc. (20)
• Australian Ballooning Federation Inc. (304)
• Accordion Society of Australia (1000)
• Budgerigar Society of New South Wales (650)
• Australian Plastic Modellers Association (150)
• Canberra and Districts Show Pigeon Society (50)
• Canberra Bonsai Society Incorporated (87)
• Australian Brangus Cattle Association Ltd (154)
• Cactus and Succulent Society of the ACT. Inc (35)
• Victorian Caravan Parks Association (350)
• Carpet Institute of Australia (70)
• Adelaide Potters Club (45)
• Textile Rental and Laundry Association (Queensland) Inc. (20)
• Koala Preservation Society of NSW Inc. (160)
• Australasian Corrosion Association Inc. (1000)
• Cosmetic Toiletry and Fragrance Association of Australia Inc. (75)
• Square Dance Society of Western Australia Inc. (1500)
• Queensland Spinners, Weavers and Dyers Group (400)
• Wireless Institute of Australia (6000)
• Christian Multimedia (10)
• Arms and Militaria Collectors' Association of New South Wales (449)
• Flute Society of South Australia Inc. (150)
• Arabian Horse Society of Australia Ltd (5000)
• New South Wales Hot Rod Association Inc. (30)
• Housewives Association (1000)
• Australian Hypnotherapists' Association (72)
• Mannequins and Models Guild (N/A)
• Australian Model Railway Association (1100)
• Floral Art Guild of the ACT (30)
• Tropical Grassland Society of Australia Inc. (538)
• Australian Institute of Physics (2500)
• South Australian Homing Pigeon Association Inc. (330)
• Communist Party of Australia (N/A)
• Ship lovers' Society of Victoria (125)
• Non Smokers Movement of Australia Inc. (400)
• Table Tennis Australia Inc. (7500)
• Adelaide Historical Bottle Club Inc. (140)
• Australasian Specialty Coffee Association (N/A)
• Australian & New Zealand Association of Bellringers Inc. (400)
• Australian Bowhunters Association (N/A)
• Australian Deaf Gay and Lesbian Association (N/A)
• Australian Mouse and Rat Information Service (143)
• Australian Rat Fanciers Society Inc., The (90)
• Australian Scrabble Players Association (SA Division) (N/A)
• Darwin Aero Club (150)
• Australian Volunteer Coast Guard Association Inc., The (9500)
• Eros Association, The (300)
• Folk Alliance Australia (400)
• Historic Fire Engine Association Inc. (96)
• Garden Clubs of Australia Inc., The (35000)
• Meniere's Support Group (Tas) Inc (600)