So this is Christmas...

Ho ho ho - and I'm not talking about Paris Hilton.

I came up home to Mum and Dad's at Coffs to celebrate Christmas. In my family, Christmas isn't a time for giving. Hell no. It's a time for consuming. That is, enough seafood, fruit, meat, vegetables and piss to sink a small 16th century Chinese sea-trade vessel.

The day started for me at around 6:30am, preparing the ingredients for a prawn dish I was responsible for at lunch time.

Cass had been bouncing off the walls since 3am and Meils struggled with the concept of daylight, being dragged out of bed at a very un rock 'n roll hour of 8am (see pic below).

Absolute corker of a day - blue skies, beautiful Aussie weather. After opening our gifts, we went down to Woolgoolga Beach in the morning for a swim. We then came back to the homestead, prepared a beautiful brunch, sat on the couch, hit the piss again during the 5 o'clock happy hour with pina coladas, then enjoyed another smashing meal prepared by my gorgeous mother and two voracious sisters.

All in all, a ripper of a day. But back to the pressies - I received:

• A white shirt with textured pink squares with french cuffs
• A new pair of boardshorts, dress shorts and belt
• Frisbee
• A few puzzles and intellectual paraphernalia
• A moose that shits jelly beans
• A new white bonds wife-beater
• Wine and bar goods
• Kitchen items.

Story of my life.

BINGAY!

Sixteen, one-six. Legal age for boys and girls, sixteen...

Sixty-nine, six-nine. Dinner for two, sixty-nine...

Eighty-eight, eight-eight. Two fat ladies - it's lonely in the sidecar...

Clare, Amelia, Karla, Clare's mate Whitey, Chris, Malin, Millgate, myself and some random Canadian guy looking for boy-love went to Bingay at the Imperial Hotel on Tuesday.

For those uninitiated, it's basically regular bingo run by Mitzi MacIntosh, one of Australia's favourite drag queens and her sidekick dyke, Naomi. Once your numbers are all called out, you have to yell 'BINGAY!!'. If you call 'Bing-O', you have to wear a penis-hat. Quite simple, really.

The best thing about it is that all prizes are donated and money raised from the games goes to the AIDS Council of NSW.

So anyway, we went to Bingay, had a fabulous time, darling, and won a few things along the way. Millgate won a topless garden gnome, some condoms, chocolate and some tickets to Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Karla won a Natio beauty gift pack and Clare won a meat tray and a copy of Mission Impossible III on DVD. Yes, that's right, a meat tray. Eight lamb chops, six thick snags, two slabs of rump steak and a mutton leg.

Let me entertain you...

Clare and I went to see Robbie Williams last Sunday evening. Here's a few pics:

At the pub prior. Did you know I once turned down an offer as one of Robbie's backup dancers?

Robbie in full flight.

Clare enjoys seeing Robbie doing shots on stage.

Vroom!

After 2599 days of strenuous study (just over seven years), I was officially awarded my Provisional P1 NSW Driver's Licence! In that time, I've been the proud owner of 4 sets of L's.

I would have some photos of me getting my licence for the blog, however the staff at North Ryde RTA didn't appreciate photography "of any kind" (is there any other?) to be taken. Lucky the NSW government doesn't equip them with batons, otherwise my mate Dave and I would have been taken into a padded room and beaten senseless.

And thanks to all of the people who have provided me with rides over the past few years - I think it's now time to give back.

Bad oral incident

Why have I been up since 3:30am on a school night? Because my back right bottom molar is inflamed like a mo-fo and currently feels like North Korea is using the area as part of their nuclear testing regime.

The bonus is that I've already read today's stories on SMH online.

I'm going to see a dentist tomorrow.

Booty-shak'n roadtrip

The trip back from the engagement party was a bit subdued - it seemed the night's festivities were quite taxing on the girls' REM cycles. Karla and Dani may have also been suffering from the effects of late night hypothermia.

So beyond talking cricket and how amazing our mos were looking toward the end of the month, Willis & I decided we'd get some booty shak'n happening, just to keep the roadtrip back to Old Sydney Town kicking along.



He taught Beyonce everything she knows...

Here comes the bride...

Nice outfits - scared the shit out of us.

Congrats to Penny and her soon-to-be husband Josh.

The crew went for a bit of a road trip up to Newcastle to celebrate the lovers' engagement. The party was a great opportunity to meet some more of Josh's mates, eat chops stacked 3-high on platters as big as Newy surfboards and of course, get pissy with the Batho kids. Here's a few photos (there may or may not be some more colourful ones on another site - for those in the know, they're hot. Thanks to Tim M.):

Karla and Dani getting ready. They'd make a fabulous pair of Charlie's Angels.

Crare and Ezre.

That's what mates are for. I had a bit of lamb chop stuck in my beard. Check out our mos.

Penny & I...